Listen to the Heart
When I was a child, my grandfather would often remind me, “Think with your heart honey.” It was a constant teaching. Due to that, it was easy for me to play sports and feel in the flow and play music in the flow. I was so fortunate that although I never thought about the word lesbian or gay or homosexual as a youth, I freely felt my heart and fell in love with my first partner. After that relationship, after more than six years, I fell apart. My world fell apart and my heart was broken. It took me some years to heal. At least I had a meditation practice and spiritual basis of experience. Before and after my first true love, I always had an inner voice guiding me. Yet, I did not always follow my inner voice. I often argued with my inner voice. I noticed when I did not follow my inner voice, bad things often happened vs. the good things.
While healing from a surgery and my break up, I began having life reviews and visions. I went through intense life reviews for some years. During times when I was seeing visions and hearing voices, I would also go through intense amounts of pain. I had come up with a super simple helpful and healing meditation practice: touch my heart with the palm of one hand and hold my heart. It sounds simple but the heart needs a feedback loop. I started sleeping with a cat to hold my heart space for years. That also worked. Holding a hand to the heart is the quickest means of connecting with one’s heart and it calms the heart.
I am bringing up an issue which is very confusing about the intelligence of the heart. The heart accesses all of the blood cells of the body. Memories are contained in the cells of the body. Body workers, Energy Body workers and other healers know this from experience. Scientists who have worked with memory know this. The DNA can actually hold mp3 music and be played back from DNA. A future technology will use DNA. As you can imagine, using DNA is an ethical issue yet as science does, it proves to us what is true and false. Our DNA holds memory. Our heart processes all the blood in our body. The blood in modern Medicine is considered the largest organ in our body. The blood is made in the bone marrow and then circulates throughout our body. The blood carries the stem cells which our body uses to heal our cells. In my grandfather’s ancient teachings which has been passed down from generation to generation in an unbroken bloodline, blood is where our spirit resides. I was trained to think with my heart from childhood as central teaching of being a family, clan, and tribal member-a member of a social group, society. Our heart connects us with those we love.
When the heart is activated, the heart releases the memory of the body, the memory of the soul. The memory emerges in dreams, visions, voices, other senses such as smell and touch. In my experience, when my heart is activated, I have to keep monitoring every sensation, emotion, feeling, memory, imaging, sounds, every bit of information I receive when my heart is in pain. Then, I meditate on those sensations and memories and sort out what they mean in the context of my entire life. However, one point I want to share is this: while being in heart pain, and while opening to the memories, I am in total confusion. I only know I am in the middle of my heart processing. I am sharing this because every one seems to be confused when they are attracted to another woman. Again and again, the confusion seems to lead to a lot of pain. And, if a woman does not realize her own processes, this process can become overwhelming, cause hiding, running and fear of intimacy. So, I am sharing my experience here as the clearest example of how to understand what it feels like when the heart is communicating deep core soul information and that when the heart is communicating, it feels like confusion until the confusion is cleared and the heart feels no pain. Words and sentences are not natural. There are not letters which form in nature. Our heart is the core of our Life Force. Our heart connects us all to the Greater Good, the All That Is, Oneness, the Source, God. In the ancient Egyptian Heiroglyphs the heart is weighed against a feather.
Namaste
Jedhi