I was born in the Summer of Love, the beginning of the Sexual Revolution, the Hippie Movement. I was the first child to be born amongst my parent’s high school friends. I was passed around the circles of youth, young lovers in love with life. It was an historic and amazing childhood with models of love, compassion and passion. I will emphasize passion. As passion was the way to love back in the days when love became a path to Source, God.
My role modeling was quite open and free. My father was the center of female attention and attraction. His friends were in awe of his image of Eros, God of Love and Passion. I was the Love Child. It was as if I was a toy, a baby doll. I felt loved by all of my parent’s friends. I am not even mentioning that I was passed around the teenagers in both my mother and father’s family. I was raised by a village.
However, the Free Love Movement I saw was one where I grew up with a single mother in neighborhoods of single mothers. As children, we all knew that our fathers were out and about with other men. Yet, that was only half the story of the Sexual Revolution. Several mothers had children from several fathers. Some mothers were accepting gifts and money from the sailors in our harbor during the Vietnam Era and well into the eighties. I was raised in a realm of Sex, Drugs, Rock and Roll and Soul–the international party central scenery of San Francisco Bay Area. The well known Sexual Power Houses of my parents’ generation knew each other and some of them went to high school with my parents. For instance, the Mayor across on one side of the bay was a former Madame. The San Francisco club owner Carol Doda opened an infamous stripper joint. I could go on and on.
Sex was the theme of my childhood parental models. Both of my parents had that magnetism, that extra fire. My father had women chasing all through high school. Year books of his siblings are filled with statements like, “I really enjoyed the year with you. Can you introduce me to your brother J.?” That was the pond my father swam as the fish followed him. He never had to do anything but wait for a bite, a nibble and it was a done deal.
My mother had stalkers. One time, a stalker was in our backyard outside the window. He had been watching my mother dress. That is when we got our one and only dog. A friend, a Police Officer gave us a puppy from a Police Dog’s litter. Although, we did not keep the dog after a year. He had been so protective that he had jumped through a window to get to someone who entered our house. My mother suspect that to be my father at that time. No one knows. But our dog became a liability. In this atmosphere, I had been trained in martial arts to protect myself walking to and from school.
I had a newspaper route, the earn some income for the things I wanted to buy on my own. On my bicycle loaded down with newspapers, I had pimps following me in the mornings. At the young age of thirteen, I was being solicited for sex on my route or to school and back. My sex education began as a child. Sex was spoken about in every day common language, not crude or profane. I was taught and trained to spot perverts, like the men who would park next to the bus stop while masturbating so kids could see them in their car. A walk through the park in my hometown could be good day for a child molester, rapist or pimp. Kids had to know what was going on to be safe. We had to know how to tell and who to tell.
The women were so sexual and seductive. This is one of the aspects I paid intense attention as did all the other girls who were aware of sexuality and learning about sexual prowess. Today, we are inundated with sexual images throughout the media. In those days, it was on the streets, in homes, at parties. Sex was never hidden. It was all out front in the open. Even my friends talked about the world around as we figured out how the world worked. Teen pregnancy was a main issue that the adults around me discussed with me, family and friends. As we entered teen years, we were on the watch. My family made it clear that I was being monitored though I was given freedom to roam. Roam the entire city my friends and did. We also knew we had to roam in groups for protection, to protect each other.
In that atmosphere of intense awareness of teen pregnancy, prostitution, rape and sexual freedom it was a wonder to me that I ever discovered the path to love. Sex was the ideal. I viewed monogamy as an old school tether to outmoded religious ideals. Not until I found myself within a relationship filled with intimacy, mutual dreams, shared memories and felt my soul merging with my partner moving through experiencing spiritual awakening and understanding that the meaning of life was derived from relationship did I begin the journey to understand my self, my soul, the Light, Source and God through love.
All of my breakthroughs in the opening to the experience of Light has been on my path of Love. I was always trying to understand my soul and the world. Yet, I would never have discovered the Light if not for Love.
Some people find the Light at the end of the tunnel through Near Death Experiences. I had done that and only wanted to die as much as I loved and felt loved. Nothing was as important to me than getting back to the Light. Yet, when I became addicted to sex, I became addicted to passion. The fire opened my Light. I was guided on a path of pure passion which led me to pure love.
For me, the Soul Flame path has been one long path of opening my heart to passion and love, again and again. I have given all that I am and have been on the way to releasing my heart and soul to the fire within relationship. The Twin Flame path is the end of the journey. I know all that I need to know about compassion, passion-the spectrum of love, feelings, emotions, intimacy and commitment.
When I make that final commitment, I know in the depths, the core of my Heart Light, Soul and Being of Light that I have burned through the fires, the tests, the trials and passed through them while healing my wounds, doubts and fears. I trust my Heart Light and have faith in the Light, the Source. I know that I cannot be lead astray. I cannot harm or be harmed. I can only be guided to my final arrival in my journey through Love, Light and Source. My certainty of faith is the final surrender.
Namaste
Jedhi