This thing that you call “stalking” does not unnerve me. Fact is that I am aware of you being aware of me and that is normal for me. Time, space, nothing is an obstacle in my state of awareness. The “obsession” you referred to as my “belief” hit a core soul wound for me. I have always been addicted to my own death. I have always preferred being in the astral, out of body, tempting fate, experiencing death. Every partner has been challenged by my desire to demonstrate that I am Immortal. I was born onto the path. I have recalled, relived many past lives, many past deaths, tortures–being sacrificed, burned at the stakes, hung. As well as I have recalled my self as warrior-raping and slaying, having many wives. I had to go though Life Reviews, be given the Summary of my Lifetimes, given my Life Purpose and reason to live.
Always, traveling outside my body, accessing the Light, I had to face the facts. I was not going to be allowed to die. Meanwhile, one of my beloved soul mates was allowed to leap to her death, leaving me to feel misunderstood, forcing me to teach and become a Spiritual Teacher. My friends love me. My family loves me. I am well loved and have always been. Yes, girlfriends have hurt me, tried to even kill me-things like trying to run me over on the street. Same girlfriends, have loved me more than they could handle. It is painful to have soul memories which cause one to feel the need to obliterate the source of pain. I blocked one of my Xes a day ago. She went to my mother to ask me on her behalf me to unblock her. I was hurt that she has a guru she respects more than me as we went through astral realms together and I was pissed off that she does not get our soul relationship is more sacred than some guru. We have not even been partners for over twelve years, and I adore her partner as a very sweet hearted woman and soul. I was still hurt that she did not get that our soul relationship is sacred. I am not possessive but I do in fact, one of my traits, keep track of all the souls in my soul group, my soul family-dead and alive.
Beginning of May, I asked the Light to understand who you are as a soul to mine. I was shown a past life in Egypt. It dawned on me then that we could trigger each other from the core of our Light Beings. Either one of us could either consciously or unconsciously trigger each other. And, that it would be ultimately healing. Days later, I was shown a vision of Black Birds flying around your head. Being given these visions while in a previous romantic relationship, new visions I had yet to understand, I had been opening to the Black Birds. I had to understand what they meant. I did not know I was being warned about you doing harm ,or harm being done to you, or if it was about your soul knowledge. So, I was cautious and set the boundary intentionally. Knowing the power I wield, I had to be cautious about what effects we might trigger as it is hard to know who has harmed, wounded and/or killed whom when it comes to past lives.
I kept telling you that I did not think that you could understand me. Finally, you told me that you knew more than I thought you knew. Finally, I knew that I was not wrong in sensing and feeling my visions had given me enough information to understand the potential of your soul triggering mine. You said I made you feel ill, that you felt nothing, that we are not soul mates. I said, “I hear you.” I did understand that experience. I understood that you body and mind could be jolted from your or our soul memories. I was concerned that we both felt and feel safe.
On July 4th, your astral being told me, “I know you are guiding me.” I was elated and said, “I am guiding you up and down.” I meant, I am guiding you to leave your body and enter it at will. At that moment, I felt bliss and felt our beings merge as Light Beings. I know that your soul knows me, understands me, and that although you yourself or even me myself cannot vocalize this knowledge, it is a given.
Regardless of time and space, we are bound to the eternal Realms of Light Beings. Though we walk in the Shadows, hiding our true selves from all those around us who cannot see, hear or know our selves as Beings of Light, we are never the less Beings of Light. As such, I was shown who you are as a Light Being. I know the origin in this life, this Soul Cycle wherein we have been together. That posed questions for me to take great care in meditating on the meaning of your existence in this life to my existence. It has been very painful. As I had been seeking my Egyptian Queen, my counter-part as a Luminous Light Being. Your Light Being poised to be the potential end of the search caused me to heed your words whether to heal me or otherwise force me to release my wounds so that I could finally open my Heart Light and Soul to my final partner whomever she be, even if that means she is you. You forced me to let go of you. Yet, I know that letting go forces me to accept the boundless reality of love without expectation, beyond control, a total surrender to the mystery of creation-fear of the unknown and unknowable existence.
My Egyptian Past Life is active again. I have this all of my life since my childhood. Either I became possessed by Tutankhamen or whatever. Last week the vision I had was intense.
I often feel I have been a Pharaoh in Egypt. One woman I dated for only one night in college, circa 1991/2, told me that she saw my face change, looking like the face of the Tutankhamen. In 1980s, I had telepathy, mut…ual dreams and merged into the Light with my first female partner of 6 years. We have always been telepathic, even after we broke up in 1989. In 2003, I woke being initiated on a stone slab, surrounded by a small group of people and a man with a Staff. He pointed the Staff at my body. White Light came through it like Lightening. My astral body floated above my body while I released thousands of lifetimes.
In 2002, I was invited to attend a small circle of scientists for a presentation given by a visiting Physicist from Jordan. He is a Drew Sufi. After his presentation about the Whirling Dervishes, I met with him. He told me that when I met my Twin Soul, I would travel to the Middle East with my Light Teachings, effectively ending the Ancient Religious Wars. This of course was hard to believe though astounding, humbling and unimaginable all at once. About that time, I met Wallis Budge and his wife in my astral experiences. I was tasked by contract, given a long contract in which I was to retrieve the Ancient Egyptian Teachings of Time Travel. By the end of 2003, I began having experiences of being an Egyptian Priest. I awoke being initiated to release thousands of lifetimes prior to my Egyptian life. I felt as if I was struck by Lightning. I have written elsewhere about the pain I felt, not being able to life myself out of bed with out by my assistant.
In summer 2004, a married woman chased me and asked me to marry her. That day, I was in car not for an affair, she was a client only. However, she picked me up that day. When we are were on the freeway, my astral hand was holding hers so physically palpable. I looked down at my lap and both hands were on me not holding her hand as I felt. I said nothing as I knew that she was attracted to me, and I was not breaking client healer boundaries. However, after the healing, she looked at me and said, after we were downstairs, “I am seeing your as a Pharaoh.” She listed other Past Lives beginning with a Caveman moving through time. That is the day, after that healing, she asked me to marry her. It was an intense day but I was speechless. Never the less, that was the second woman who had seen my face change to a Pharaoh.
I believe that our Souls do Divide. I have merged with Past Partners in the Light. My mother and I agree on our lifetime of Soul Experiences. She was the first one to point this out to me. I did not know what to make of that as she had said that when I was in my 20s in the 1990s. However, after several relationships, I began to understand what she meant. I had been experiencing merging with partners into the Light. My experiences are like Near Death Experiences but with partners. I began to formulate that we have Soul Flames we merge with before our final Twin Flame.
Yes, I do believe Souls have Lifetimes and that our Souls grow through stages through Lifetimes of Soul Lessons. At some point, after accumulating Soul Lessons, we complete Soul Maturation and begin to understand the Immortality of our Soul. I am stating this from my experiences of being a Being of Light, given the Summary of my Soul’s Lifetimes, my Soul name and meeting hundreds of Light Beings who are in my Soul Group in 1993. I am stating this from experience, not conjecture, not reading books, not fantasy. My dreams and visions have been tested even by scientists in the field of parapsychology, many years ago.
During the first week of May 2017, I had an intense vision.
May 03, 2017
A vision opened up to me. I saw a long corridor where hundreds of men were using some kind of hand tools to break up the sides of the rock walls. It was like they were building a corridor. I could see the sun at the end of the long corridor.
All of the men bowed in front of me. I could see the back of the heads who I felt as my self and partner as if we are King and Queen in some ancient dynasty.
May 08, 2017
During the past week, I had an intense vision. A close friend sent me some images she found that fit the description of my vision. I was amazed. I had never seen those images before the last few days.
That vision opened me to the potential of your power as a soul. I was opening to what it could mean if you opened to you power the way I am open to mine. I never told anyone what I saw precisely to anyone but one close friend. I saw us both emanating Luminous Light while the workers working were entirely normal human. The workers all laid down, face forward, prostrating on the ground as in worship and honor. There was a long corridor and there was Light at the end. That means to me that the Light Beings were giving me this 3 dimensional, full color, vivid, life like vision of a scene in a past life. I was in awe and shock.
My shock opened me to meditate further on the meaning. Am I almost there? Is this the One? If not then who is the One? Uncertainty is a quandary, I am experiencing.
Namaste,
Jedhi
I have been meditating on releasing, all of my own ideals of perfection within my being which create an emotional psychic push pull so that I can actually experience feeling vulnerable of feeling open and emotionally sensory available in order to flow with you freely to release the push pull. I have been working on deep core unconditional love for you so that you have total freedom.
I have felt heart pain and directly have been shifting and changing around release of attachment to my own fears of abandonment, loss and rejection from the Beloved. I am aligning with my Beloved yet I have also been flailing and struggling through this process of expanding my heart in awareness that we both actually need unconditional love to grow emotionally, psychically, spiritually and freely. This psychic emotional process opened me to greater acceptance of my deep core emotions and psychic experiences in order to share expressions which from the Point of Light view are Primal Urges, Deep Core Desires from the depths of my Soul. These Primal Urges giving rise to Deep Needs, Deep Desires, Burning Desire to Co-Create and Destroy Self towards a Combustive Unity. The Desire so Deeply within the Soul to Burn through Separation from Source as Beloved.
I have been breaking out of the deep core expectations of my own obsessive and possessive needs which have been touched by the Beloved.
I understand exactly what you mean, have been feeling everything you are saying and been shifting in all ways to grow with you. Even to the point that I also love you regardless. I am not going to throw you to the wolves. I love you beyond that response. I have reached deeper levels of unconditional love for you.
The love we have opened to desire created a constancy of needs to be fulfilled. I opened to breaking through this need to accept a more pure love. As you were shifting and changing I opened to release my emotional possessive desires to need and want you to be with me obsessively to allowing my heart to love you while releasing the pain of fear that your freedom to be who, what, where, when, why you are is and does not reflect your love for me at any point in time and space.
I have been meditating in Light, opening my Heart to Purer States of Light because we both are on accepting our Light as a Path to Ultimate Freedom and that also includes a Spiritual Intimacy which although you may wish to release me, in the All Is One, we are both aware of our Soul Beings in Light.
As such, I have been meditating on that Pure Love from Light which neither of us controls.
I have also been meditating on our friendship. We bypassed that. And that is actually necessary as we both have too much to share and learn from each other as souls.
Before, I was throwing you away like a lover who had no real use. And, I was reacting. I actually always work to deepen all of my relations except when someone has need to abuse and use me. I opened up to accept that and release it, a few weeks ago. I can and do grow emotionally. Meditating on friendship past few weeks, seeing we both need that spiritual friendship as well as human friendship to open to being whole and complete as humans having spiritual experience.
This is that dual life I used to live. My Romantic life and Spiritual life was in duality.
I know we both have lived this duality. Both of us divided our focus in relationships wherein we had our personal relationship issues and our personal psychic and spiritual issues. This duality created such a divide that no matter how much love we give we are never received. And, I felt we both were working through this core soul wounding of separation and division toward a sense of complete unity.
I know we both have lived this duality. Both of us divided our focus in relationships wherein we had our personal relationship issues and our personal psychic and spiritual issues. This duality created such a divide that no matter how much love we give we are never received. And, I felt we both were working through this core soul wounding of separation and division toward a sense of complete unity.
My graduation dream within past few weeks:
I graduated from Desire Realm Love to entirely Pure Love.
I realized Perfectionism to Perfect Love and Devotion beyond Idealism. I feel as free to feel Live and Love without limitation, no need for expectation, validation, permission to experience Being Love and Loved.
Notes: The Finally Touch to the Seven Modes of Relationship: Love and Beloved
In May 2014, I meditated on opening to be guided to my final partner. I had been isolating myself from social life whilee I was single for three and a half years by that time. I have meditated since I was a child, had guidance in dreams, astral experiences and guidance by members of both sides of my family. I was blessed to be with my first partner because we shared dreams and both had the same experience of merging as astral beings in the Light. However, being psychic has never been easy.
First, as a child, I loved my life at night in dreams and the astral. I thoroughly enjoyed learning in my sleep. Yet, the psychic events of the day was intense for me. Being a child is extrasensitive normally but to be extrasensory perceptive is overstimulating and overwhelming. To learn to discern the difference between physical and non-physical objects can be painful. As a toddler, I was always walking into walls and other hard barriers. When I was young, I thought that I had hit my forehead so many times that my head was hardened like steel. My head has hit and broke a 1069 VW Squareback in head on collision. Funny that my head was not bleeding though I had a concussion, blacked out and was temporily paralyzed. That was a very scary period when I could have become a quadraplegic. My neck injuries effected me since that time. I had told my friends in high school that I was going to die in a car accident by the time I was nineteen. Well, I lived through it and many other narrow escapes. Or, as I like to refer them as the times my Guides sent me back for more of this life. Besides that, being in my body has been a very oversensitive, overstimulating and overwhelming experience. I was sent to Marcy Calhoun, a local psychic, for meditation training as a teen ager. It was well known that I was psychic in my family but in the world, it meant nothing. People outside my family were oblivious.
As far as being in the world, I was peceived as intelligent and even genius. I was a star student, performer in music and sports, and later at work. Decades later, I would be considered an Honoray Scientist for a Non Profit Scientific Research group for my work in correlating Astral Experiences with Physics. In that sense, it would seem that I would be a highly productive and career oriented person. However, though I had been accepted in Science as a Psychic for my abilities and knowledge, I also felt misunderstood most of the time. Some of the Scientists understood me because they had studied psychics like me for decades. Judith Orloff, M.D. is also one one of the Psychics who was stuidied and she became a Psychiatrist after accepting her Psychic abitlities as real, necessary and useful as a means of healing clients. I first read her book Second Sight when in came out in the nineties. I recommend it because she want through some of the same fears and dreads I went through as a Psycihc.
I have written about my college friend Mala who committed suicide. We would meet at coffee shops. We were both telepathic with each other. We were both intelligent, logical and intersted in discovering the scientific basis of explaining our astral experiences. I have a smile on my face when I recall that we would be at a college party in a corner comparing and contrasting leaving our bodies, floating through the ceiling and shifting through space and time–past, present and future realms of experience. We were the only two students around us who could and would speak about these extrasensory experiences.
Mala was in the Art Department. I was in the Philosophy Department. Most of my friends were artists taking Art classes. All of my closest friends were very talented artists. As one of the talented artists, she was multitalented. Though all my friends were talented her intelligence was on par with mine. I was charting the axis between past, present and future. I was concerned about being able to handle my extrasensory perceptions. I was studying the Ancient Philosophers–especially the Platonic School of Metaphysics. I had studied science since I was in third grade. Harold Houdini was one of my Spirit Guides. He would guide me to books in the public library. I was nine years old seeking the scientific explanation for creation. In college, Mala and I were studying theories such as the Holographic Universe and Parallel Dimensions of Space and Time.
It was at that time, I had been having Life Reviews where I had been shown my life as a child through to my college years as well as past lives and then I was having future lives. My experiences in the Space Time was so visceral that I was waking up forgetting my name, age and not recognizing my self. I kept a journal and took copious notes. To this day, I have taken notes on my Spiritual Journey. When I am shifting through deep core soul changes, I take notes. When I am having calm and stable experience of life, I do not take notes. I recall the highlights of the dreams of my entire life such as choosing my mother before I was born. This used to drive my mother nuts. While Mala and I were discovering the meaning of our astral experiences using scientific methodology, she told me that she was my Twin Soul. She told me that we met at the wrong time, a minute off the timeline. According to Mala, I was supposed to meet her before I met her best friend who was standing a few feet away from her when I introduced myself at a Halloween party in 1991. That would be Fall of 1993. At that time, I had been waking to my Life Purpose as a Light Being.
The night I had been called to be informed of her suicide, I dreamt that she came to me as a Light Being wearing a White Wedding Dress wearing black Dr. Marten boots. Three angels were singing.
“Don’t ya feel dead…
When you’re lying
In your bed
Don’t ya feel dead…
When you’re surrounded
By good friends
Don’t ya feel dead…
When the voices in your head
Scream and your mouth
Can’t make a sound….
Don’t you feel…
Don’t you feel…
Don’t you feel…
Dead
In your head…”
I kept waking up to write the words from my dream. Then, I would go back to sleep. I missed the funeral but her life long best friend was there with all of our mutual friends. She told Mala’s mother that she had a dream that Mala came to her in a dress and told her she was saying her last “Good bye.” I was driving from New Mexico on my way to Northern California. Everyone knew that I was trying to get home so I was given the message when I arrived. During the days after her death, I had regular out of body experiences. Other astral beings were showing up at the edge of my bed to take me out to fly.
I would see them at the edge of my bed and then I would leave my body. I would pass through the wall behind my bed and walk out the doorway in the kitchen and fly above the Sonoma vineyards– a gorgeous view from above. I love California. I cried nearly every day. Though I was astral traveling with Shamans around the world, being in the world without a flying partner who was a real in the flesh person I could share my discoveries was like I died myself. At a certain point in time, she came back to me as an astral being. Her astral being brought me through the holographic memories of her life. She showeed me why she felt alienated and isolated in her childhood around her family and friends. She was showing me that she could no longer handle the lonliness. She brought my astral being back to my body and then her Light merged into my Light. That was the last time she was a seperate being. Since that time, she has been part of my being.
The last time we talked was in the summer of 1994. I met with her to tell her that I was heading off out of state to go to graduate school. I knew that she was till healing from this Spiritual Crisis we both were experiencing. We were between worlds. We both felt misunderstood and both of us were trying to understand the meaning of our lives. She said, “You are the lucky one.” She had everything. Her parents ran a winery. She had a gorgeous view of the vineyards from her room which had a balcony. For all intent purposes, she lived like a princess. When I was in her room above the vineyard that summer, she said, “Do you thin we are angels?” She was reffering to our Light Beings. I said, “I do not know.” She asked me to live with her and her best friend. I was speechless. The three of us were so psychic with each other. I could not see us being able to handle being together in the same house. I could only see us all having this Spiritual Crisis together and not being able to make sense out of what we were experiencing. I was going off following my dreams. I had dreams with shamen who were guiding me to mentors who could, would and did give me the guidance I needed to ground my expanded awareness and burgeoning knowledge of astral realms and being psychic.
In Decmeber 1994, I got the call that changed my life and essentially changed my Spiritual Journey. The fear of abandonment and rejection had propelled me to steer clear of relationnship. Although I did have a girlfriend, she could not understand me in the ways I needed to feel and be understood. For her, she understood my extrasensory experiences were real. I had seen her deceased mother floating above her bed the first night spent at her place in college. She never told me her mother died in her teens. Seeing her mother and describing her was proof. All of my close friends knew my dreams and visions could come true. Although it was understood that I was psychic, no one understood my pscychic pain the way Mala understood me. We were sharing this pain of feeling seperated from everyone else. We both experienced extrasensory experience of being astral beings who are awake and aware of astral beings arounds us who are unaware and alseep. To us, it was as if we were surrounded by zombies. Yet, her death caused me to pause and consider a request she made of me. She had asked me to heal her. I did not understand how she knew I could heal her when she was alive. Yet, I was learning that I had power that heal others and I was practicing on my girlfriend while we were together. I just did not not understand that would become my Life Purpose–to heal astral beings. Her death was the pivotal point. I understood.
In my first relationship, my partnership opened me to accept the Meaning of Life-Love. I realized that the reason to live and not risk myself dying by living at the edge in order to release my body and enter the astral and die was Being in Love. That was my first major Soul Lesson. I have had many Soul Lessons like everyone else has had them. Yet, the Core of My Being needed to accept Being Human. Being In Love made being Human acceptable. However, the next Soul Lesson I learned was that Facing Pain of Being in Love is necessary. I could not avoid or ignore it. Being Psychic made me more extrasensory sensitive. Being able to sense through the astral being of a partner, see visions of my partner’s memories, feel the feelings and emotions of a partner’s past, present and future was beyond durable I felt. I was avoiding being engaged with another partner, an astral being. Her death forced me to face the fact that avoiding and ignoring the Pain of Being in Love was dangerous and self-anhilating. I understood: even if I avoided and ignored a relationship, I was going to feel the merging in the astral even if and when a partner left the body-died.
I have been reading Judith Orloff’s book recently again because she went through the Psychic Pain. The pain of feeling, sensing, and otherwise experiencing the pain of others caused her to avoid and ignore her Psychic Senses in high school. I did that same. I was on a quest to anhilate the Psychic Pain. But I fell in Love. Love healed me to the point that I had a Reason to Live. I knew that Love was the Cure. I did not know that I could be in love again but I knew that it was imperitive that I Opened my Heart to Love. After losing the Love of my Life, losing Mala as a human being, Being in Love with other Soul Mates and a few Soul Flames, I found myself letting go of the Psychic Pain of Being in Love again in 2014.
In May 2014, I opened my Heart again. And, the Psychic Pain felt like my entire body was in fire, for months. For several months, I felt burining pain the degree I could not sleep. I saw White Light whenever I closed my eyes. I could not dream except a few times. I was triggered to experience deep core soul memories of pain by meeting a few soul mates. At a certain point, I had meditated to the point where I merely felt burning pain in my heart. Then, I met another potential partner. I had begun to share the depths of my self as a Psychic. Yet, I felt her response was intelligent, emotionally intelligent and intuitive but I felt that she could not understand the Psychic Pain I was sensing from her own Psychic Pain. I was feeling and sensing the Psychic Pain she was carrying. I felt she was hiding it from me and the world. I felt that she could not discuss her Psychic Pain because it seemed that she couild not understand mine. That triggered me to the Core of Psychic Pain. I could not handle the intensity of the Psychic Pain.
I had been meditating on how to communicate the deeper Core Psychic Pain with a potential partner before we met. Yet, the more I opened to the Psychic Pain to share it, the more I felt. I became oversensitive, overstimulated, overwhelmed. By the time we were beginning to discuss the issue of being intuitive, psychic and astral, both of us were not able to communicate through our own fear of seperation. The intense emotions welling in me caused me to let her know I could not handle communicating. I was doing the best I could to handle my Psychic Pain but it hit me like me like a Tsunami. I was under the waves and holding onto my breathing. All I could do was meditate on the Psychic Pain coming in waves into my heart.
As I was meditaing on healing my own Psychic Pain, I began to feel her Psychic Pain. And, over the course of weeks, I felt our Hearts merge in the Astral. Within two months, I dreamt about a past life. I did not know who the Chinese man was in my dreams. Her voice came through and said, “How do you feel me now?” I said, “I feel you inside me.” I woke up realizing that I had felt the full astral merge. I had understood that my astral being had been merging with hers in the Light. Although the Pscyhic Pain had shifted into feeling merged and blissful, I would feel periods of Psychic Pain in my heart. I felt that we were both healing in parallel. Our astral beings were merged and we were both healing our Hearts in the astral. Within a few months, I had a dream where she showed me her Psyhchic Pain of feeling misunderstood. I awoke and I knew. I understood.
We were sharing the same pain I had shared with Mala. We were sharing the Psychic Pain of feeling alone and isolated in feeling understood from the Core of our Souls. We both had shared enough for me to realize that we were sharing from our Core Soul Beings. She had pointed out that we were merging before I realized that it was happening. I was waiting for her to tell me what was happening because of my Psychic Pain. I was terrified that I would be abandoned and rejected for sensing her Pyschic Pain. I mean, I knew that I could feel her Psychic Pain but I did not think that she would understand me if I shared that with her. I was holding back from sharing what I was sensing and feeling about and from her. I felt when she became afraid of me abandoning and rejecting her. I felt the moment that we were both feeling the same fear. That same fear caused us both to retract, emotionally shit down at the same time. And, then we were not able to communicate. Yet, I knew what was happening yet could not break through my own emotional block from communication.
Since that time, I began to work through breaking through my emotional patterns of emotional withholding. I have been moving through breaking all emotional patterns of not being able to verbalize my fear of being criticised, judged and being feared for being Psychic. I am extending my sense of being in fear of being misunderstood for being Psychic. The divide of being able to explain things to a partner is a steeper ravine. Being able to tell a partner that I can and do experience not only visions of the past or the future or of deceased loved ones but that I also experience being those other beings. I can experience the entire lifetime of another astral being.-dead or alive. I can experience memories being formed by a partner. In other words, I can sense and feel where she is at another location, what she might feel, think, say or do. I can experience a partner as Another Myself.
I had meditated asking my Light Being to guide me to the Other Myself, my Twin Flame on and off since I was in college when I was in my twenties. However, I did not know what I know now. I had to experience several Soul Mates and a few Soul Flames. I had to understand the depth of the experiences of astral merging, sharing mutual dreams, sharing astral experiences. I had to fine tune my awareness and understanding being finely attuned to my partner’s awareness. I had to open my Heart to merging entirely, ongoing, comitted to continuing to cross the division between Self and Other. And, that means accepting, acknolwedging and experiencing the Psychic Pain of the Beloved. It meansing being able to continue to express Love, opening to deeper Love, and sharing the depth of Our Hearts as a Couple, Equal and Together.
The Psychic Pain of fear of seperation from feeling sensed, felt, heard, witnessed, understood is immense. To accept that we can be sensed from an extrasensory sensory experience of being merged in the astral is an immense self-acknowledgement of our sensience as beings created by the Source. It means, we are One with God, Great Spirit, the Cosmos. Overcoming the fear of seperation from the Beloved opens us to become One between Self and Other and God. This is a very super sensitive experience is the greatest bliss and yet between moments of bliss, there are moments of terror of loss. That is what caused the end of my first relationship within the year of merging in the Light. It caused me to avoid a relationship which ended in a suicide. And, it has been causing me to be single since 2014. Yet, I know that I have been merged in the astral and in the Light. I know that I will cross the divide at some point in time and space. It will happen. I wil get beyond the divisions of time and space.
It is happening. It is happening because I am casting of the fear of exposing my raw fear of acknowledging my PyschicPain-my fear of being misunderstood for what I sense and feel as real. Being understood by a partner, knowing that my partner is not only tuned into me but also in sychronization with me in the astral, heart, body, mind and soul is the ultimate intimacy. There is no other intimacy other than merging into the Light. And, that I have done and that will happen again as it is my destiny. I know the stages and process of merging. I understand.
Every time I am sharing my experiences of being Psychic, I am crossing the divide. At some point, I will feel understood from the Core of my Soul. And, then I will be in relationship with my final partner. I will know by sensing the reality of extrasensory experience of merging. I understand.
In sharing, you may understand.
Namaste,
J.
Yoga means Yoke, Union. Union between self with Source; Union in Heart, Thought, Deed; Union between Mind, Body, Soul, Spirit–mental, emotional, physical, sexual, spiritual. Surrendering Self to Source is our Yoga. Love is Yoga. Light is Yoga.
All That Is is Yoga.
For decades, I maintained my private life wherein I experienced amazing spiritual experiences within intimate, romantic relationship. I had planned to release my knowledge when I was an elder, beyond range of feeling a need to protect my intimate privacy. However, it became clear: spiritual practitioners around the world would benefit from sharing my knowledge of Being in Love while experiencing Being Light.
It began as a realization that I needed to bridge toe gap between my spiritual practice, experience and knowledge with my own relation status. I felt I had reached the end of karmic soul relationship. Yet, being amongst other spiritual people, I was not romantically attracted. I began to explore the divide inside my self-my soul.
My process of opening to the Light, asking to be guided opened me to discover the depths of my soul, emotional patterns and blocks, mental patterns and limits of perception to realize the meaning of love in all my variations of compassion and passion.
My experiences of opening Heart Light to expand my sense of self beyond boundary, opened to feel safe, secure and trust my process of sharing the Light Lessons of my Soul.
My Luminous Light Being, beyond space and time is Omniscient and Omnipresent. As a Being of Light, my experience of being is not bound but infinitely bound in a Luminous Light. It feels like a contradiction to be Light and be Human. Yet, the Continuum of Perception is non-linear. We are Both and Neither in a momentary lapse of becoming. At one moment we sense separation. At another, we sense union. As we stop our thoughts, we may glimpse the rhythm of movement-energy.
To Awaken to Being is Natural. It is Eternal and Eternally our Sacred Union with Source. Soul mates, Soul Flames, Twin Flames are all variations of the Source reflecting Source. Soul mates are primarily working on being human. Soul Flames are primarily Awakening Each Other. Twin Flames are partial Awakened.
I believe a Soul mate couple can move through stages of Awakening. But such a couple are born Advanced. Civilization has not allowed Awakened beings to feel and live safely due to thousands of years of Holy Ears. Awakened Children would be exterminated at young ages. Very few tribal groups retained their Ancestral Light Knowledge. If those, there are blood lineages on every continent. Over the last hundred years, emissaries from blood lineages engaged in seeking each other in sacred and secret ceremonies and rituals. Our modern movement of Light Beings has been an underground movement until we reached world Mass Awareness. The alignment of ancestral, mystical and metaphysical teachings is allowing is to bridge the Light Realms of our Luminous Beings with our Human nature.
In order to bridge this gap, between our ancestral heritage as Beings of Light, we must accept the spiritual communion in All Our Relations. The Profane must become Sacred. Union of Light and Dark, the awareness of Yin Yang.
The four ancient meanings of Yin Yang: we are eternal opposites; we are eternally becoming our opposite; our opposite resides within us; our opposites eternally transform us. Our relationships continue to transform us, evolving and revolving, never separating us from Source. Our process we are Yoked to Yin Yang is called Yoga.
Namaste
Soulmates, Twin Flames, and other Flames
I had been working on my soulmate issues for some odd twenty plus years. Sound familiar? I have astral traveling since i was a child. Given that, in high school, I was aware of my attractions to potential partners. I had an inner voice give me information about my attractions. Although falling in love with another female threw me for a loop. I did understand my senses and did not know what hit me for about six months. But, once i got it, I got it.
That said, since that time, I have been able to astral detect an oncoming soulmate. That was my old status prior to the last ten years. I have had more than one experience of merging in the astral with a partner. There are differences in those experiences.
Over the last twenty years, several astral women have entered my dreams to have sex with me. I was in a relationship for more than half that time. I did not know those women, except for two or three. One I met after first meeting her in the astral. I experienced her as my wife in the Wild West. I met her days later and recognized her. She also recognized me as a soul mate at that same time. The other woman had done an apprenticeship with man who apprenticed with an Indigenous Shaman: she entered my astral to seduce me. I felt her astral hand and my astral hand holding hands as if we were holding hands physically when we met in person one day. I did however put at end to that attraction when I realized that 1)she was a real person who was 2)and, married. I know that a soulmate will be attracted to me in the astral. I knew that we can meet each other in this realm after an encounter in the astral. But, now I know that women who are not appropriate for me can also enter my astral and seduce me. This is a real issue. One must become aware of seduction in the astral and learn to handle those experiences.
Dilemma: yet, now that you know all that, how are you going to choose a partner?
Research: reading about the soulmate and twin flame materials are not always helpful. The materials are not clear enough. There is a limiting factorization of male-female polarity which dominates those materials. I have been making notes on all the issues which I feel are incorrect for years. For instance, there are the teachings that two souls are born from the beginning and separate. Well, I have been studying the egyptian teachings from some authors from egypt, and from those the male-female twin soul is within the same soul, not two separate souls. I like how Shirely Maclaine had her spiritual recall of her twin soul separating into two souls. It is not totally contradictory. Yet, I do not like many of the versions of soulmate and twin flames materials. I feel and think we need to have discussions about our soulmate, twin flame relationships as a community.
Experiences of flame: In 1992, I dated another woman I met at a Halloween party. After we dated for a month, I began having past life dreams with her. And, then I experienced our Light Beings meeting each other in Realm of Light. Our Beings of Light gave each other a briefing of the lessons we were learning from each other as souls. We never became partners. In 1993, I met hundreds of Light Beings who I immediately understood as my Soul Group while in the Light Realms as a Being of Light. I also have had the experience of making love to my former same sex partner in our light bodies in 1998. It was like we were two bodies made of flames merging from the waist down. We were melting into each other with intense passion.
Hypothesis: I cannot believe that all the varieties of psychic, astral and Light experiences are set up for me to be tortured by relationships which cannot manifest as a committed life partnership. I cannot believe that my former partner whom I partially merged with in our Gold Flame bodies is the only soul I can have the kind of merging which describes a twin flame relationship. Having met two Beings of Light beings who altered my views of reality of love, sacrifice and relationship is a sign to me that I still have a Twin Flame and we have not met yet. From my lifetime of romantic experiences in the astral and the Light Realms, I have to believe that becoming a Light Being with another causes the Flame relationship to emerge and that we can evolve as Light Beings toward Merging if we are on the same spiritual path. So far, my previous Light Being Flame Mates were not on the same spiritual path with me.
Summary: my project for over a decade now has been to compare and contrast my own experiences with other Light Beings–other people who are on a spiritual path. I consider this evolving work. And, I consider the evolution of souls on the planet is also evolutionary in spirit.
Jedhi
Guided by Light
Jed Heart is a continuum of Light Body Teachings which evolved throughout my lifetime. Jed is short for Jedhi which comes from the ancient Egyptian word Djed from the Book of the Papyrus of Ani first translated by E. A. Budge and published as The Book of the Dead. This work acknowledges all of the Indigenous Peoples of the world-past, present and future.
In December 2003, I began to dream about Egypt. One of my dreams, I met E. A. Budge and his partner. I was given a contract to travel back into the past to retrieve ancient knowledge about space and time travel. I had been initiated by my own grandfather into ancient tribal pratices of astral travel and lucid dreaming by my another elder in my family. I had been astral traveling since I was two years old which I can remember. I had spirit guides throughout my childhood. I had several guides through time. In the first few months of 2004, I began to have dream memories of being initiated into an ancient knowledge of Light Beings. I experienced that initiation as being struck by a powerful light which felt as if I was struck by lightning, a force of nature. From that experience began other experiences which led me on a journey to discover other souls who were also recovering memories from ancient temples and lifetmes in Egypt. I was guided to a book in a used book store which I found and revealed the meaning of Djed-the Pillar of Light, the Immortal Light of the Soul.
In 2005, one of my close spiritual friends had the vision that I would network with women around the world to coordinate Light Beings in an international network. Over time, I wrote several articles which were written anonymously yet posted freely on the internet. From that time, I have had the pleasure of connecting with spiritual souls who awakened to the intention of awakening other Light Beings on the path to remembering Oneness within Source.
I am not the only soul who is being guided by Light, here or on this planet. I know that other souls are often afraid of opening up about this experience. The world religions and skeptics often offer up personal attacks, criticism and judgment. However, there is plenty of scientific evidence which has been accumulated for over one hundred years. I will not debate with anyone who has not done their homework. I will spiritually support souls who have done their homework with all of the will power of my being. World religions and skeptics are often the first to attack any woman, any one, who has experiences with the Light. To scare people, the story of Lucifer as the Light Being who went up against God was created to prevent people from accessing their own Light using fear tactics. When that was not working, the fear mongers used science. Science originated from spiritual practices. Yet, the world does not know that because science over time divorced themselves from their history.
The Light is not light like the sun or moon. The Light can be seen externally yet the essence of the Light is soft and has a consistently which floats in the atmosphere. It is more gaseous or ethereal than the spectrum of light. You can feel the Light as well as see it. The senses we use to attune to the light are no our eyes and yet we can see it. It is like the sense of smell. We cannot see what we smell in the air but we do indeed smell it. We have a sense which senses the Light. No scientist can discover it because it is a rare scientist who can sense it. And, when a scientist can sense it, they would need a grant study to afford to design and build equipment which could sense it to measure it. We live in a world where there is no money going towards our spiritual evolution. The forces of controlling the world by chaos-fear and anxiety are too invested in creating pain and suffering. That leaves those of us who can sense the Light as the means of sharing how we sense and feel with others so that souls on our planet do not lose this sense from our ancient memories.
When I can let go of my sense of being my self as a person, I can collapse into a tiny point of Light. As a point of Light, the I that I am can travel through space, time and space and time. I mean, I can shift my perceptive point of Light from my physical body orientation to orient my spark of Light to see outside of myself, pass through walls, travel to other spaces, places. And, in time, I can pass through time into the past and into the future. In time and space, I can do both at the same time. I can travel from my personal sense of being a self to the impersonal sense of being someone else. I.e.; I can have other people’s memories. The first time I experienced seeing a Being of Light was when I was a baby. As an adult in my mid-twenties, I experienced myself as a Being of Light. In Light Realms, I was given my Light Body Name and Soul Purpose. From the experiences as a Being of Light, teachings from Light Beings,I have been working towards opening the Light to those who are guided to me.
Jed Heart has no interest in followers, worshippers nor following any religion. Experience and scientific methodology has always been my spiritual path and practice. Light Beings who are drawn to Jed Heart are evolving toward discovering the means by which we enter our Light Beings through releasing deep core soul memories and shifting into accepting our soul memories of Being in the Light, Being Beings of Light, being among Beings of Light, our Soul Groups. Jed Heart is guide to the way to being One with Source, one of the many ways never the less one a lucid and powerful means of direct connection with Source through opening the Light of the soul-the Djed.
Namaste
Jedhi