Soul Mates, Twin Flames and other Flames… for Evolving Souls.
Hide your face in my chest
I wanna hold you so tight
My Beloved
Breathe in the fragrance of love
that flows through my soul
Only for you and only for us
This thing that you call “stalking” does not unnerve me. Fact is that I am aware of you being aware of me and that is normal for me. Time, space, nothing is an obstacle in my state of awareness. The “obsession” you referred to as my “belief” hit a core soul wound for me. I have always been addicted to my own death. I have always preferred being in the astral, out of body, tempting fate, experiencing death. Every partner has been challenged by my desire to demonstrate that I am Immortal. I was born onto the path. I have recalled, relived many past lives, many past deaths, tortures–being sacrificed, burned at the stakes, hung. As well as I have recalled my self as warrior-raping and slaying, having many wives. I had to go though Life Reviews, be given the Summary of my Lifetimes, given my Life Purpose and reason to live.
Always, traveling outside my body, accessing the Light, I had to face the facts. I was not going to be allowed to die. Meanwhile, one of my beloved soul mates was allowed to leap to her death, leaving me to feel misunderstood, forcing me to teach and become a Spiritual Teacher. My friends love me. My family loves me. I am well loved and have always been. Yes, girlfriends have hurt me, tried to even kill me-things like trying to run me over on the street. Same girlfriends, have loved me more than they could handle. It is painful to have soul memories which cause one to feel the need to obliterate the source of pain. I blocked one of my Xes a day ago. She went to my mother to ask me on her behalf me to unblock her. I was hurt that she has a guru she respects more than me as we went through astral realms together and I was pissed off that she does not get our soul relationship is more sacred than some guru. We have not even been partners for over twelve years, and I adore her partner as a very sweet hearted woman and soul. I was still hurt that she did not get that our soul relationship is sacred. I am not possessive but I do in fact, one of my traits, keep track of all the souls in my soul group, my soul family-dead and alive.
Beginning of May, I asked the Light to understand who you are as a soul to mine. I was shown a past life in Egypt. It dawned on me then that we could trigger each other from the core of our Light Beings. Either one of us could either consciously or unconsciously trigger each other. And, that it would be ultimately healing. Days later, I was shown a vision of Black Birds flying around your head. Being given these visions while in a previous romantic relationship, new visions I had yet to understand, I had been opening to the Black Birds. I had to understand what they meant. I did not know I was being warned about you doing harm ,or harm being done to you, or if it was about your soul knowledge. So, I was cautious and set the boundary intentionally. Knowing the power I wield, I had to be cautious about what effects we might trigger as it is hard to know who has harmed, wounded and/or killed whom when it comes to past lives.
I kept telling you that I did not think that you could understand me. Finally, you told me that you knew more than I thought you knew. Finally, I knew that I was not wrong in sensing and feeling my visions had given me enough information to understand the potential of your soul triggering mine. You said I made you feel ill, that you felt nothing, that we are not soul mates. I said, “I hear you.” I did understand that experience. I understood that you body and mind could be jolted from your or our soul memories. I was concerned that we both felt and feel safe.
On July 4th, your astral being told me, “I know you are guiding me.” I was elated and said, “I am guiding you up and down.” I meant, I am guiding you to leave your body and enter it at will. At that moment, I felt bliss and felt our beings merge as Light Beings. I know that your soul knows me, understands me, and that although you yourself or even me myself cannot vocalize this knowledge, it is a given.
Regardless of time and space, we are bound to the eternal Realms of Light Beings. Though we walk in the Shadows, hiding our true selves from all those around us who cannot see, hear or know our selves as Beings of Light, we are never the less Beings of Light. As such, I was shown who you are as a Light Being. I know the origin in this life, this Soul Cycle wherein we have been together. That posed questions for me to take great care in meditating on the meaning of your existence in this life to my existence. It has been very painful. As I had been seeking my Egyptian Queen, my counter-part as a Luminous Light Being. Your Light Being poised to be the potential end of the search caused me to heed your words whether to heal me or otherwise force me to release my wounds so that I could finally open my Heart Light and Soul to my final partner whomever she be, even if that means she is you. You forced me to let go of you. Yet, I know that letting go forces me to accept the boundless reality of love without expectation, beyond control, a total surrender to the mystery of creation-fear of the unknown and unknowable existence.
I smell the fragrance
Of the dreams
That we lived in together
I taste the sweetness
Of the fantasies
That we lost ourselves in together
You took me to a wonder world
That we walked along together
You brought me back to life
That I thought I’ll lose forever
Your heart fuelled with my blood
My soul shined with your glow
My lungs filled with your breath
You lived in my core
This world is so beautiful
It belongs to you and me
I won’t live forever
Don’t take it
away from me
Darkness doesn’t scare me
But the night does
Because it’s the end of another day
Tomorrow will come
This moment with you
Is where the life begins
Don’t let it go
Hold it
for me
Everyone is rushing
Passing me by
I feel like I’m stopped
Stopped from inside
I want to feel this moment
Joy love and peace
I need to see myself
In the eyes of blue sea
I need to fill my lungs
With fresh breath of trees
I need to feel the softness
When a flower kisses my lips
I’m waiting for this moment
Just
you and me
(The Gift – movie with Cate Blanchet, 2000.)
This is very much how I experience reality. Except, I actually talk to other people. I can prevent rapes and murders as well as save lives in other ways. I have been saving lives since I was in college. I was always psychic and had spirit guides since early childhood. I was injured in the military and had my near death experience under anesthesia for surgery. After that, I could no longer turn off my abilities. I had to learn to not only live with them but to aid,help and heal other souls, people. That is what I have been doing for tweny five years.
My first Near Death Experience was in 1969. My mother had a dream that I was killed in an automobile accident. While we were passengers in a car, my mother’s cousin driving, a drunk driver ran a red light. My mother recalled the dream instantly, broke my flight into the windshield. She sustained a coma for a few days, broke both legs, broke lumbar vertebra, cracker her forehead and almost died. I was out of body, watching the ambulance take my mother’s body out of the wreckage. I was told that I had to live so that my mother would have a reason to live. My mother was pregnant with my first sibling. He was born within a month later. Of course if my mother died, he would have died.
All of my childhood, I had spirit guides. My father’s father had introduced me to our ancestors when I was two years old. I had regular astral experiences and teachings. My first partner was also part Native American as I am. She had dreams with her mother and sister growing up. So, we had astral experiences with each other, including merging into the Light.
I have been astral and psychic my entire life. I recall choosing my mother in the sixties. I had and have regular visitations by people who have died. Many times, in my early twenties, I would be in a social situation and a deceased astral being would communicate through me. Often, I was saying things that did not make sense to me but made sense to someone else. I had to learn to handle this state of being. That meant, I had to meditate and handle being in control of my own mind, my thoughts as well as feelings and emotions. It was overwhelming to hear, see and feel spirits. Yet, learning to discipline my self and will power enabled me to handle my abilities throughout the rest of my adult life.
H0wever, because of being ultra sensitive, extrasensitive, I had always written in journals since high school. Though I do not keep those journals over time, I began typing them out to write books. I see visions which are color and three dimensional. I hear voices – male and female. In the astral, I have conversations with astral beings. I have been waking people up in the astral since I was in college. I began training groups in the mid-1990s.
I often say, as many psychics say, “It is a blessing and a curse.” Not everyone can handle the extrasensory experiences. Many people escape in many ways-drugs and religion even science. Keeping their minds busy, they avoid and ignore their own extrasensory senses. However, when I was a child my mother used to say, “If you do not pay attention and listen to your guidance, bad things will happen.” Sure enough, bad things happened. I almost tied more than once before I let go of avoiding and ignoring my guidance. I became a teacher because of the importance of extrasensory perception and experience is of great value, even actually our survival depends upon our senses and extrasensory senses. I would not be alive without them today. Neither would a lot of people, many I know as I have saved their lives whether they know it or not. I am not bragging. People need to learn that these gifts are real, valuable and can save lives.
Namaste,
Jedhi
I have been loved, revered, respected, honored and yet like everyone else, I wanted a life with family and close friends. I keep my friends close to my heart. I enjoy heart to heart relationships. Yet, still what it feels like to be enigmatic not matter how well I can explain my sense of being both human and non-human in spirit has been a constant wound.
Over the last few years, I began to accept that most of what I say is misunderstood. Even though I have been told that women want to understand me. They want to know what I mean. It is a stretch of their imagination that what I say I experience as real seems unreal.
Meanwhile, I am drawn ever more deeper into what seems to be a never never land, realms of beings who are waiting for me to open the portals to the land of the living. And, yet, I feel torn in half between two worlds. And, I try, and try to explain it in so many ways, being so clear, so precise I am slicing through misunderstanding cutting through ice.
To all my friends, divided by following me through the adventure, a journey where we become strangers in a strange land called our homelands, I am breaking every boundary inside of myself to reach across the spectrum of existence. Love itself has strewn pieces of my heart around the world like Osiris waiting for Isis to piece me together.
Those who love my heart and soul will cross the bridge and give me that strength to carry the torch. If you had not, I do not know how I would, how I could bare it. I might waft into the ethers and dissolve into the astral light. Though I am good, I have felt my impending death, another death of who I have been, overwhelmed by who I have become and will later becoming.
It is as if I have stretched my soul across the sky and feel every one and thing at once. It is not the same as dissolving into light where I feel the peace of all is one. This is a stretch of my human heart. Feeling as if there is eternity from within my body sensing all those I love.
What it feels to love so much to be a leader, a visionary, opening to visions of the dreaming world of needed guidance to the light and love and creation. All it means is the power of passion and love driven by a means to an end, coming home.
I did not want to do this alone. I feel like a sacrificial lamb, opening my soul to bare the truth of nature. I am the divine, divining my immortal soul to shatter the barriers of perception. Not alone, never alone but always on this path of deathing my self to rebirth my soul.
I am mostly beyond the physical pain. All the pain is emotional. Attachment to all that has been, all that has never been, all that may be and all that may never be. As powerful as it is to be alive and free to sense and feel through the depths of my soul, I still long for the One.
I have let go, once again to the desire driving me to feel this void. And, yet I cannot alleviate the void. I can merely sense it, accept and acknowledge the existence of a void yet to be fulfilled. Sometimes, I feel the whole of the self, as complete as I can ever be. As my heart expands while I am centered, I feel this need to feel my other half of my soul. Even though I myself may not believe the beliefs others believe, I feel the desire as deep from the core of my soul.
I still feel the desire for the other half of my soul.
J.
The penultimate fear is fear of sharing power. Power can be measured in many ways and means. One person may have more mental power. One may have more emotional power. One may have more physical power. One may have more psychic power. One may have more sexual power. Both partners may actually have equal power in various areas of their selves. No matter who has more or less and even if both are equal in many measures of power, sharing power is an act of surrender of will power.
Much can be said and written about power of individuals. There is no lack of examples in relationship. Nearly any argument will be based on demonstrating power. Even the dating and mating game is an act of maneuvering with power to gain the attraction, confidence and commitment of a potential mate. Merely reminiscing on acts of gaining favor from a potential mate can bring up all kinds of memories whether from one’s own unique memory plus all memories gathered in childhood through to adulthood from all sources. The metaphor “the birds and the bees lecture” about sexual education can conjure up all kinds of animalistic rituals to seduce and gain favor of a mate. However when the mating pair is coupling or has coupled, there will be the ruminations of power plays that are embedded into our hearts, minds, psyche and soul. The surrender to the mate requires safety, security and trust. If one partner surrenders while the other has hidden agendas to control the relationship, there will be significant power struggles. If both cannot surrender, there will be no partnership. If both partners are willing and able to isolate power issues and negotiate total surrender to accept, acknowledge and balance the inequalities and equalities, both partners can gain from the power of the relationship as a partners.
The final solution, whether by legal or oral agreement and contract is marriage. Anyone can make an agreement to marry another given legal age of consent. Yet, Sacred Marriage is one in which both parties are c0-creating the most Sacred of Unions. Intimacy between two parties who are agreeing to share all the layers of their selves from hearts, minds, souls are committed to continually building intimacy no matter the circumstances which can arise from inside their own selves or outside their selves. Fear of commitment arises no matter the circumstances as all fears arise from the mere courting of a potential partner. If one party does not know s/he feels the desire for marriage when entering the relationship, s/he may hesitate. If the other partner knows s/he has entered relationship with the desire to marry yet does not express this to the other party, this may come as surprise. Not everyone is prepared to consider a lifetime commitment. It takes time and energy to get through the stages of getting to know one’s own self not to mention getting to the self of a partner.
Building intimacy also requires two people to discuss the potential outcome of a relationship. Are we building intimacy for eventual marriage? Are we testing intimacy in case we may want marriage? Are we thrown into marriage for reasons we have not chosen? Are we feeling pressured into marriage? What do I need and want? What does s/he need and want? Can we meet our mutual needs? What wants can we live without? What wants are we not willing to sacrifice? Partners need to feel free enough to ask each other probing questions about the meaning of marriage. Both parties can create individual lists of questions as well as be prepared to answer the questions from their partner. Making life easier vs harder makes relationship easier vs harder.
The more we as individuals and couples can create our own unique and not so unique lists of questions about our fears of intimacy in self-reflection and mutual shared reflections creates intimacy vs avoiding, ignoring, blocking intimacy. Troubleshooting one’s own self is a task. But actually two people can make games out of building intimacy and have more fun with each other. Otherwise we can fall in to pitfalls of self-delusions of who we are ourselves and illusions we have intimacy when we are role playing, acting out of scripts from movies we watched as children. The Learning About You Game can become part of the daily, weekly, monthly, yearly ritual. Even when you think you know every thing about your self or partner, there is much more to discover, uncover, examine and enjoy. Life can be an adventure with a partner who loves life and plays by the agreed upon rules both partners establish over the course of time.
Here is Part One and Part Two while this is the third part of a three part series. This series articulates a concise and precise bullet proof bullet point serious of subjects for singles dating with intention to marry and couples heading toward or even within a marriage. This always more to learn from and within one’s partnership. Unmasking, unveiling, revealing our hidden, secret, sacred selves within relationship with a partner is the ultimate intimacy between two persons in love – compassion and passion. May your journey into partnership be blessed and sacred.
Enjoy,
Jedhi