Soul Mates, Twin Flames and other Flames… for Evolving Souls.
Dear Beloved,
I know you may not read this. However, I had a dream a few nights ago. You needed me to forgive. I meditated on that.
You may not understand why I felt how I felt. I literally have felt like I was Spiritually Raped by you. I know that feels harsh. I was hurt by your reaction to my dream when I yelled at you. I tried to tell you why that was so painful and vulnerable for me. I felt you could not understand why I felt so deeply about that.
I hit the core of what I feel it means for both of us. Your reaction to my anger was obviously to me your fear of anger because of your mother. I had that too until I faced it in relationships where I learned to handle my fear of both being angry and vulnerable to anger if the other. However, I had told you I have always protected my deepest heart felt truths. This where the betrayal began.
My Great Aunt dreamt a powerful baby witch would be born and told my mother before meeting my father. All my childhood, my mother berated me for being a witch. She emotionally tortured me, constantly telling me I was the Devil’s child. Being my Great Protected as much as she could, and my Grandfather guiding all my childhood, I had a spiritual path vs. had I not I would have committed suicide like many lost souls do.
When you immediately reacted that I was projecting I felt I could not trust you. I diligently have double, triple reality checked all my psychic experiences since I was a child. I stopped telling my mother things when I was five. I relied on spirit guides and my Great Aunt and Grandfather until I was taken to Marcy Calhoun at 16yo. She saved my life by grounding me. My first true love saved my soul for sharing and merging hers with me.
When you rejected the fact that 1) I was vulnerable, 2) I was sharing from my dreams, 3) my dreams with had been you and me as dense physical beings communicating, 4) you came to me before I knew you and later you shared your soul pain in a song, not to mention other dreams wherein I could not have known at all, 5) dismissing you had given me a message about you taking off and I was giving you feedback on my experience of you in the Dreamtime, 6) I felt you were rejecting me.
You said, I would lose you if I told you what to do. I was walking on eggshells not able to tell you all my psychic feedback because you would experience being told what to do. I said you would lose me but I was so pissed you may not have discerned my wording if you told me how I felt or think.
So I reacted with how I felt about how you reacted to me. I felt Spiritually Raped by your reactions to my deep dream intimacy with you. Not because I feel you do not love me but because I felt you needed to control my love for you. And I feel you must feel the same in reverse. Because you guarded your self from intimacy I need. For me, intimacy comes from deep within the dreams. If I do not connect in dreams and we cannot communicate, I feel disconnected. I felt you were isolating to disconnect because of pain coming through us both.
I meditated deeper to my core to be able to share why we hit this core wound. I felt you feeling me invalidating you while I was validating my self. You validated your self while guarding your self too. You guarded by needing unconditional love to safe guard you. I felt like you were using love, feeling love to mask your wounds. I felt if you could just stop hiding and face your fear of feeling your wounds with me, you could release deep core pain. I was guarding myself with knowledge so you would not be able to pull the wool over my face-my extrasensory senses of your being.
I was not letting you get away with not facing this deep core pain because it was driving you away from your power. I did not want you to hate me. But if all I could do was let you need to hate me to self-reflect that was the only choice you gave me.
In my self-reflection, I get we both were feeling Spiritually Raped because we had been guarding out hearts from the rejection and torment we both experienced from our own mothers. The closer we came to releasing this pain, the more we threw up subtle guards we both felt as rejection and abandonment.
I always am hurt when you feel, think or insinuate I cannot understand you. This wound you have exacerbates my wounds of proving I am who I am. Explaining my expanded awareness of extrasensory sensed perceptions as real, densely physically, emotionally experienced does not help you because it triggers you to guard your memories and emotions attached. Basically your response is to guard by deflecting or denying my extrasensory experiences with you is unreal, untrue, denying me validation of who I am to my self and you.
You said I was fighting my self but could not admit you were fighting your own self.
It really pissed me off when you said you would let me spin. I hold Light and vulnerability for you and everyone close to me. I do not let anyone spin unless I actually do not care. Someone has to prove they are unworthy of my heart to do that. Yet, you wanted my unconditional love when you had it already. I finally just pushed you away so you could spin and feel how you like that.
Yes, I opened the Spiritual Rape Wounds so everyone could process it with both of us. I Sacrificed Our Wound to Communal Healing. We are not alone. What we experienced everyone will eventually experience in intimacy. I have humble humility to release my vanity and needs to be accepted and acknowledged enough to openly shatter my self a reflections to share so others can reap the benefits of me jumping off my high horse and over the cliffs onto what seems like deep waters.
I told you I never have to say, “I love you.” again. Acts are greater than words. You will know when you feel you know.
Namaste,
Jedhi
I am do not feel the Wanting, Needing and Heart Pain. I had throat and heart pain this past week due to feeling the Pain of Separation. I have been in my Grieving Process. I was the one who brought up that We had to release the Intensity of Wanting and Needing of Merging. I had no intention of breaking up and separating. However, that is the outcome. I had felt that we needed to focus on our own home base to prepare for meeting. Living a world apart, I have to coordinate my income and living conditions to handle travel. I needed time and space to prepare my environment for change. She needed time and space to create the environment where she lives. It seemed to be too much as it was a constant anxiety not at all helped by the distance between our worlds. Every fear and doubt came up. I was typically opening and sharing as much as mine as possible so that there would be no hidden emotional signaling. That was also overstimulating and overwhelming for emotionally. She was not telling me her own issues. That was causing me fear that she had fear of intimacy and that I was going to arrive and trigger her to emotionally withdraw which could and most likely trigger me to emotionally withdraw. We had our first argument in March. We went through some days of breakup. Then we broke through the emotional barriers and opened up to vulnerability. That deepened our senses of commitment. I felt that we had crossed through to trust each other.
However, vulnerability was waxing and waning. Finally, the us Pull was creating a sense of distancing. And, the more I tried to point this in varieties of ways, including sharing deep core memories and belief systems which were breaking, the more she could not understand that I was sharing my Pain of Separation. Instead. Her reaction was to tidy up my messy emotions by telling me that I was Fighting Yourself (Myself). I had pointed out that she was also doing the same by trying to tell me that I am doing something wrong. We both did that actually, the pointing out what the other was doing to argue. So, we were pointing out what was causing us to argue and that became a cycle we were not able break, Merely, we could not just accept that we were seeing the same things and different things and not able to let it go. We were rotating around the Need to Be Heard. Both of felt this Need to Be Heard equally. Yet that Need to Be Heard is an issue that we both needed to release within our own selves. We both know, have regularly discussed that we both feel the same. That we both are sharing the same emotions and intentions. This Need to Be Heard is intense. It creates this Sense of Division which is actually and illusion. Even though she said I am Fighting Myself, and I was arguing with her explaining I am Vulnerable and In Fear of Losing Myself Within Her I know that she was right. Yet, she was not at all sharing her sense of Needing Space and Time as I was telling her she needed. She was denying that she Needed Space and Time for Freedom to do things without Needing and Wanting constant Merging into Union. And, when she broke with me, she told me she Needed Freedom… what I had been telling her for weeks but not intending to break up. So, that is the crux of the Union. I feel that the real issues are of Emotional Release of Old Emotional Blocking and Emotional Withdraw Patterns for both of US. Not just Me: Not just Her.
I am working on doing things that need to be done, complete projects, start projects which will be ongoing and accomplish some goals. Some things are super simple as cleaning and clearing areas of my house to prepare for me to be able to travel. Some are complex like redesigning my website after it crashed some years back. Of course, there are many tasks to do to keep my self completely busy. I could not do a lot of these when we were Needing and Wanting to be Together daily. The Daily Vortex of Needing and Wanting was driving us into obsessive and possessive behaviors. I had stopped quite a lot of social interaction. I have had to reset my daily routines to focus on my home base with intention to continue to be open for meeting all the changes I have worked toward to handle being away from home base and starting a new home base. The concept was that my home would by our second home base. And, we could travel when we were ready to handle that level of spiritual work in the world together.
For me, being ultra sensitive, I am often precognitive, seeing ahead and hearing voices giving me warnings and heads up. I say voices because I hear male and female voices. These are not the same voices. They are different. They have different messages. Some messages are not at all for me but for other people This is an issue that makes knowing what to do a challenge. I can hear a voice that is not so pleasant but a plea for help. Precognitive Dreams and Visions are troublesome to the One. She feels that she needs to make her own decisions. Me telling her a dream, she could not and would not accept that I was seeing and experiencing anything was real. She told me I am projecting. She is not like that. She would never do that. That was our first fight. I was furious. It takes a lifetime to continually test precognition against reality. I cannot have my own partner telling me I do not know what I am perceiving. That is like telling me that I do not know myself. I was adamant that is dangerous to my health and well being. At the Core Soul issue, I have experienced being Burned as a Witch. I had brought this up several times as I had felt called to travel to United Kingdom over 15 years ago. However, the Astral Dead are layers of Beings I can See, Hear and Feel. 
That experience is overloading to my body, mind, heart, nervous system. I knew for years that I would travel to United Kingdom but needed to feel safe and secure with the friends around me. I could not feel safe and secure with her if she is telling me that I am Projecting. I would never say that to her. I know that would undermine her own sense of self. Now, she feels that I am Burning Her at the Stake because I have been so open to share my feelings and emotions and presently, we are having a non-agreement.
We are Separate because she feels she cannot handle argument and fighting. I feel that we need to learn to handle each other’s Emotions and Emotional Responses. And, if that means there is an Emotional Drama, so be it. I am all for Emotional Release and Group Processing to support the shifts and changes we both need to heal. Neither of Us can actually be in a relationship with anyone given the Core Emotional and Soul issues we are processing. So, I am not feeling fear and doubt. I know We must both work through what We both triggered. With all the various drama, I am fine. I feel it is all a matter of processing and learning how to handle emotions in our relationship. I say Union. I am committed to Ultimate Union.
I have been tracking my dreams about Extreme Jealousy in my personal relationships. This particular dream has been about my own progress and process through Soul Flame relationships. I derived Soul Flames from the term Twin Souls used in the original book, Twin Souls by Joudry and M… That book came out in 1993. I had already met my second Twin Soul. The fact that I have undergone a Spiritual Awakening, re-initiations through the past life memories of various Shamanic, Priest/esshood lifetimes plus the sensations of being On Fire, I prefer to call these Twin Souls Soul Flames as the term fits more precisely.
Our Primal Instincts are Sexual in Nature. Our Social Survival is based on the Heart as Nurture.
These oppositions must be in Balance. When our Sexual Emotional Nature is out of balance, we become Sex Driven. This causes all variation of sexual game play up as well as abuse, use of others in the pursuit of sex-sexual pleasure. When our Heart Nurture Nature is out of balance, we become weakened by oversensitive feelings and overwhelmed by others emotions. When we balance Sexual Nature with Heart Nature, we combine the Forces of Creation.
There are ancient teachings from around the world which address variations of describing and explaining the Facts of Nature. Shamanic practices are the most Primal in Nature. As a lineage holder to a Primordial Shamanic bloodline tradition, I am sharing basic fundamental human instincts as well as Shamanic Dreaming examples from my own personal life.
The following dreams are from posts I made to track my own process of working on my Twin Flame Core Soul Issue. That would be Extreme Jealousy based on the fact my Twin Flame and my Soul would have been initiates of Primal Shamanic traditions and Ancient Priest/esshood traditions. The culmination of our mutual Soul Purpose would create this Extreme Jealousy caused by both of us being extrasensory sensitive as well as being equally adept in cultivating Sexual Power and Psychic Power. Together, our Merging Process would cause us too culminate the Balance between the Power of Sex and the Power of Love. In that process, we would be facing our mutual Extreme Jealousy.
I was requested to share these dreams openly for those in the general public who need to be aware of their own dreams and awaken to the meaning. Personal in Nature, this is an expose inside of my own Dream World with my Twin Flame.
March 24, 2016
Dedicated to My Friends.
Last week, I had a dream which was intense. We were in shower stall with a woman. She turned into a baby with white skin and chubby cheeks. I said to her, “We are going to start at the beginning.” So, I did a healing which opened her to move through the stages of being a baby to becoming an adult. I asked her name. She said, “Extreme jealousy.”
This was a very intense dream. Her face changed in front of me. A mask of eye make up drawn in the shape of a Marty Gras mask appeared around he eyes. It was very revealing and intense there was an intense attraction between us. I could not discern her identity as her face had been transforming through the dream. I only understood that I was healing her from emotions since she was a baby. I understood that the intensity of attraction to her was healing this core emotions of jealousy.
I had been self-reflecting on all the Extreme Jealousy in my life. First was my father dicking around with all the women. The Extreme Jealousy was all around my father. Women were up in arms about and over my father. Then there was my step-mother. My Scorpio Father and Scorpio Step-mother had the Classic Scorpio-Scorpio relationship–total text book version. Drama in my parent’s lives caused me to fear jealousy as an emotion. I felt it was a destructive force which I could steer clear of.
After relationships with other partners, I felt that Extreme Jealousy was at the root of all of my break-ups and heartbreaks. The women most jealous of me were the ones I loved the most. But as I learned to handle fear and pain face to face with a partner, my partners could not process the depth of their own emotions. When you love another someone and open everything you are and have yet they cannot accept the love because they cannot love themselves enough to handle your love is painful. You wake up to another level of realizing that being in love is not enough. You cannot give what another cannot handle taking.
That is the end of the road for Soul Mates. That is when you need an Equal Partner. That Partner will love you like no other partner has ever loved you. I know that this is true because I had the Perfect Partner but we were too young to understand what we could lose. We thought we would always be able to get back together. At times, we discussed it. Yet, we were growing in different directions. Our wants and needs had changed but the Unconditional Love was always there. I know what being loved unconditionally feels like. I know that every woman I loved the most also loved me and felt that we would be friends for life.
I have not spoken much about the fact that the women who loved me the most are in my life in various ways. I do not hang out with X partners often. I know that we have built-in intimacy and there is no need to maintain close contact. Yet, my former partners do check in with me. We know each other to the core of our beings. We have shared dreams and telepathy. We have worked through the various issues over time. I am the one who always understands. I am the one who can handle all the layers of emotions and emotional intelligence. They know my imperfections, my idiosyncrasies. I know my Xes know me like no other women know me.
My conversations with x-partners are always deep and wide. Our friendships open us to discuss the relationship issues we all move through independently. My Xes all have met each other except my first partner who moved over eight hours away. Otherwise she would have met everyone too. I know several of my former partner’s x-partners. Everyone who knows me knows me intensely. I became accustomed to women sharing deep things about me with their partners. I learned that intimacy was sacred to me yet might not be sacred to a former partner. So, Extreme Jealousy of me has been an issue with women attracted to my former partners. I became desensitized to being talked about and feared. My last partner had told me that everyone talked about me as the Big X. Meanwhile, I was avoiding all of these women who were fearing meeting me. I felt that they could not understand me and I just did not want to deal with their insecurities. If a former partner is dating someone who does not want to meet me, I know that is a red flag. I know that partner is insecure because I am open hearted, truthful and casual. It is often said that I am intense but I am over it. I am now only interested in being friends with other intense women. Fuck the Insecure ones. Bless their hearts and fly away babies. I am too experienced for Big Babies.
I am seeing what other friends have been going through, similar emotional issues, similar needs to heal, and similar Soul Lessons. I have been sharing because I am tuned into the under currents of emotions from an extrasensory perceptive perspective. And, I feel that the women who tune into me are also fine tuning. Some of them are men too. However, I am sharing because I know as a Soul Group, we are learning to be more open hearted with each other and stop being in fear of being Heart Broken. I know everyone tuned into my Soul is learning about Love.
Love is a spectrum from care, compassion, passion and unconditional love. Everyone thinks that Unconditional Love is what we must give all the time or we are worthless and useless. No. We must have a priority list. No animal, no organism, no living creature is unconditional without a priority list. Try not feeding your dog every day. Either they will leave or steal food. The wild animals do not sit around giving themselves freely to predators. Like a rat jumps into the mouth with a snake? Hardly. We become confused because we are trained to let go of our Self. We need a Self. We need a Heart. We cannot give it away freely. Yet, we can own our emotions without committing our Heart and Self. We do not need to hide our Hearts. We merely need to learn to Love our Hearts to the point we do not place our Selves in Danger.
How can we do this? By being our selves, more and more and more until we accept that we are who we are and will only accept those who accept us for who were are. Love, Love, Love your Self with All Your Heart. When the One comes along, s/he will feel All Your Love… so will everyone else who you must just handle their love as friends and family…
You must realize that if you can give Unconditional Love so can your Perfect Partner.
The One will handle Your Heart with Unconditional Love.
Love and Light, Jedhi
Dec 07, 2016 5:02pm. I was looking in past posts and I found this dream. This dream was in the shower stall of the gymnasium I have been dreaming I have been doing astral healing with other women for a few years, This was a healing I felt was with my twin flame.
I am dedicating this song to all of my friends moving through heart pain in relationship in love. When you are need some time, alone to just get through the pain.
“November Rain”
When I look into your eyes I can see a love restrained But darlin’ when I hold you Don’t you know I feel the same
‘Cause nothin’ lasts forever And we both know hearts can change And it’s hard to hold a candle In the cold November rain
We’ve been through this such a long long time Just tryin’ to kill the pain
But lovers always come and lovers always go And no one’s really sure who’s lettin’ go today Walking away
If we could take the time To lay it on the line I could rest my head Just knowin’ that you were mine All mine So if you want to love me Then darlin’ don’t refrain Or I’ll just end up walkin’ In the cold November rain
Do you need some time…on your own Do you need some time…all alone Everybody needs some time… on their own Don’t you know you need some time…all alone
I know it’s hard to keep an open heart When even friends seem out to harm you But if you could heal a broken heart Wouldn’t time be out to charm you
Sometimes I need some time…on my own Sometimes I need some time…all alone Everybody needs some time… on their own Don’t you know you need some time…all alone
And when your fears subside And shadows still remain I know that you can love me When there’s no one left to blame So never mind the darkness We still can find a way ‘Cause nothin’ lasts forever Even cold November rain
Don’t ya think that you need somebody Don’t ya think that you need someone Everybody needs somebody You’re not the only one You’re not the only one
March 24, 2016 ·
Last week, I had a dream which was intense. We were in shower stall with a woman. She turned into a baby with white skin and chubby cheeks. I said to her, “We are going to start at the beginning.” So, I did a healing which opened her to move through the stages of being a baby growing up again all the way through becoming an adult in the span of holding her as an infant and growing through the stages of being an adult. I asked her name. She said, “Extreme jealousy.”
Apr 04, 2016 9:53pm . Some days ago, I had a dream where on a small bus my Pisces Soul Mate’s best friend was on it. She was listening to an intimate relationship conversation I was having. The bus stopped in front of my Ms. Pisces house. Some woman on the bus was looking at me. And, I said, “What? Do you know everything? I was dating 20 years ago” I felt it has to do with my Pisces Soul Mate. Her best friend has been in love with her since she was in high school. Ms. Pisces told me about 15 years ago that she had dreams where I was walking with them on the beach by her home. She would ask me what to do about her relationship with her best friend. Last month, we talked because she some dreams with me and called to discuss them. I. That convo, she told me about some questions her friend asked about me. She wanted to know if I was sexually attracted to my Ms. Pisces. I told here, “I will always love you unconditionally. But I am not in love with you.”
I added a list of reasons. I told her that she lives in our past which I grew out of and changed. She does not understand the changes inside me. She has not grown through her own healing processes but stagnated by repeating the past habits. And, I am bored with our past. I have been evolving through time. I also shared things that I never told her so she can understand that I need my spiritual partner who is with me on a mutual spiritual journey through life. She just had not broken through to her spiritual self. She a k ways needs me to break her open but she is afraid to go deeply inside her soul.
This relationship has been long-term. We live three hours away from each other. The dreams where I am explaining things about relationship has been amazing regarding we rarely talk but when we do, our discussions are life altering for her. Our relationship as Souls in the Astral relating information about our Soul Lessons is phenomenal and demonstrates my work with extrasensory perceptions and Mutual Dreaming. She knows that. My past partner was jealous when we were together. Yet, over time she too realized we have the same connection. That is my Astral Being communicates with Soul Mates.
My Astral Being communicates with Soul Mates who are also friends, family and people around the world. This has been a perplexing complex reality for me to explain. I was afraid my future partner would and could not understand. Fearing that my spiritual journey was a cause of jealousy and fear, I have spent the last two years opening my Heart and Soul to explain it so my final partner could and would completely understand my Life Purpose.
I am coming to a point of sensing I am arrived at completion. I have left no stone unturned. I have even explained to my past partners my intent and shared my process about my break throughs in being able and willing to share my Soul from the Heart of my Light Being-sharing directly from my Center of Perceiving Reality.
I do hope and wish Ms. Pisces and her best friend break through to Dreaming Together now that I have given them both my Word from my Heart and Soul in Mutual Dreams with them both separately. I wish they will both wake up to prepare their journey back to the Light as a couple, finally.
They do not know my Facebook address. I wish then both Love, Light and Happiness.
May All the Angels of Light Guide and Support You in the Astral and on Earth. Love & Light, J.
I have been meditating on releasing, all of my own ideals of perfection within my being which create an emotional psychic push pull so that I can actually experience feeling vulnerable of feeling open and emotionally sensory available in order to flow with you freely to release the push pull. I have been working on deep core unconditional love for you so that you have total freedom.
I have felt heart pain and directly have been shifting and changing around release of attachment to my own fears of abandonment, loss and rejection from the Beloved. I am aligning with my Beloved yet I have also been flailing and struggling through this process of expanding my heart in awareness that we both actually need unconditional love to grow emotionally, psychically, spiritually and freely. This psychic emotional process opened me to greater acceptance of my deep core emotions and psychic experiences in order to share expressions which from the Point of Light view are Primal Urges, Deep Core Desires from the depths of my Soul. These Primal Urges giving rise to Deep Needs, Deep Desires, Burning Desire to Co-Create and Destroy Self towards a Combustive Unity. The Desire so Deeply within the Soul to Burn through Separation from Source as Beloved.
I have been breaking out of the deep core expectations of my own obsessive and possessive needs which have been touched by the Beloved.
I understand exactly what you mean, have been feeling everything you are saying and been shifting in all ways to grow with you. Even to the point that I also love you regardless. I am not going to throw you to the wolves. I love you beyond that response. I have reached deeper levels of unconditional love for you.
The love we have opened to desire created a constancy of needs to be fulfilled. I opened to breaking through this need to accept a more pure love. As you were shifting and changing I opened to release my emotional possessive desires to need and want you to be with me obsessively to allowing my heart to love you while releasing the pain of fear that your freedom to be who, what, where, when, why you are is and does not reflect your love for me at any point in time and space.
I have been meditating in Light, opening my Heart to Purer States of Light because we both are on accepting our Light as a Path to Ultimate Freedom and that also includes a Spiritual Intimacy which although you may wish to release me, in the All Is One, we are both aware of our Soul Beings in Light.
As such, I have been meditating on that Pure Love from Light which neither of us controls.
I have also been meditating on our friendship. We bypassed that. And that is actually necessary as we both have too much to share and learn from each other as souls.
Before, I was throwing you away like a lover who had no real use. And, I was reacting. I actually always work to deepen all of my relations except when someone has need to abuse and use me. I opened up to accept that and release it, a few weeks ago. I can and do grow emotionally. Meditating on friendship past few weeks, seeing we both need that spiritual friendship as well as human friendship to open to being whole and complete as humans having spiritual experience.
This is that dual life I used to live. My Romantic life and Spiritual life was in duality.
I know we both have lived this duality. Both of us divided our focus in relationships wherein we had our personal relationship issues and our personal psychic and spiritual issues. This duality created such a divide that no matter how much love we give we are never received. And, I felt we both were working through this core soul wounding of separation and division toward a sense of complete unity.
I know we both have lived this duality. Both of us divided our focus in relationships wherein we had our personal relationship issues and our personal psychic and spiritual issues. This duality created such a divide that no matter how much love we give we are never received. And, I felt we both were working through this core soul wounding of separation and division toward a sense of complete unity.
My graduation dream within past few weeks:
I graduated from Desire Realm Love to entirely Pure Love.
I realized Perfectionism to Perfect Love and Devotion beyond Idealism. I feel as free to feel Live and Love without limitation, no need for expectation, validation, permission to experience Being Love and Loved.
Notes: The Finally Touch to the Seven Modes of Relationship: Love and Beloved
I have written about both Dr. Judith Orloff’s work as a Psychic Psychiatrst and Marcy Calhoun’s work teaching Ultra Sensitive people to handle being Psychic. According Marcy Calhoun’s work, she classifies people as Ultra Sensitive if they are experiencing being extasensory perceptive with two or more senses. For instance, I see, hear, taste, touch extrasensory but not smell. Being extrasensitive, I always isolated myself to feel my senses and ponder what I was sensing. I was able to be in crowds but I felt as if I was losing my own sense of self. I have often discussed that I can see, hear and feel other people’s memories. I can sense other people’s memories of their past, present or future. It takes a constant assessment of my senses to feel myself in present space and time. Other people can have extrasensory perceptions which make no sense at all such as smelling colors. My Anglo Saxon Cherokee Great Aunt said that she could ad would “smell things before they happen.” She had also dreamt about my life before my parents met and told my mother the purpose of my life and described me. Honestly, I did every thing I could to not fulfil that dream. However, I was given Near Death Experiences to change my mind and follow my destiny. That said, there are a lot of folks who are struggling with being Highly Sensitive, Ultra Sensitive and any other term we can refer to as “sensitive”.
Some quotes for Highly Sensitive People in Love:
Intuitive Psychiatrist Judith Orloff writes: “Loneliness gets to some more than others. But why it hangs on isn’t always apparent when read by traditional medical eyes. “
In my practice and workshops I’ve been struck by how many sensitive, empathic people who I call ’emotional empaths’ come to me, lonely, wanting a romantic partner, yet remaining single for years.
“Or else they’re in relationships but feel constantly fatigued and overwhelmed. The reason isn’t simply that ‘there aren’t enough emotionally available people out there,’ nor is their burnout ‘neurotic.’ “Personally and professionally, I’ve discovered that something more is going on.”
http://highlysensitive.org/272/relationships-and-highly-sensitive-people/
THE LATEST RESEARCH In about 1991, I began applying the term “sensitive” to adults and I published the research in 1997, but others were studying it in children at the same time or even earlier, all of us working without much fanfare. In my case, I interviewed adults and then created a statistically valid questionnaire and began doing some brain research— approaches you cannot use with children. Others studied physiology or genetics later linked to high sensitivity. Now the research is widely noticed and coming from many different laboratories, sometimes under different names for the trait. My term for it is sensory processing sensitivity, but the same trait is also called environmental sensitivity or reactivity; biological sensitivity to context; differential susceptibility or vantage sensitivity; or identified by the names of certain genetic variations or as in animals, sometimes termed behavioral plasticity or flexibility.
The Basic Points
Although new evidence will come, right now, no matter the researcher, we all seem to agree that this trait:
•is innate, genetic, or “constitutional” (although some think other factors may contribute).
•is always found in a minority, around 20 percent.
•involves a preference to notice subtle aspects of the environment and to pause in new situations in order to observe and compare to past knowledge (although sometimes past knowledge leads to comparatively swifter, more confident action).
•evolved in more than 100 species because it provides certain advantages for survival.
•is not a disorder or vulnerability, because while those in poor environments, especially in childhood, are more subject than others to problems, those in supportive, enriched environments function better than others in various ways. This is called “differential susceptibility.”
Aron Phd, Elaine N.. The Highly Sensitive Person in Love: Understanding and Managing Relationships When the World Overwhelms You . Potter/TenSpeed/Harmony. Kindle Edition.
Striking Research on What HSPs Bring to Relationships Perhaps the most important new study for this book was done by Bianca Acevedo and her colleagues, including my husband and myself, and published in Brain and Behavior in 2014. (Whenever I mention research, I provide enough details so that it should be easily found through a Web search, and often is listed on my website, www. ? hsperson. ? com.) This study used a brain scanner to learn which parts of the brain were active when HSPs and non-HSPs looked at photos of strangers and loved ones having happy, distressed, or neutral expressions. There were marked differences. In particular, those with the trait had more activity than others in their mirror neuron system. The mirror neurons, coupled with other parts of the brain that were also more active in the HSPs during these activities, are strongly associated with empathy. We can feel empathy through reasoning or even assuming others are like us, but with our mirror-neuron empathy, we actually feel to some degree what others feel. The HSPs in this study were also more responsive than others to emotions in general, more responsive to their partner’s emotions than strangers’, and more responsive to their partner’s positive feelings, because when seeing a distressed partner, their brain went more into “action mode” than with others. Other areas that were more active for HSPs showed that they were, in general, simply more aware during the task. All of these are tangible gifts that HSPs bring to a relationship.
NEW OLD THOUGHTS ON LOVE, HSPS, AND SPIRITUALITY
This book also explores the spiritual side of relationships because I have observed that HSPs tend to be more spiritual than others and this affects their relationships in many ways, including leading others in spiritual directions. As I tried to make clear in this book, any close relationship has the potential to become a spiritual path. There are two resources not in this book, however, that might help some of you, although neither is light reading. One is Guggenbuhl-Craig’s, Marriage: Dead or Alive. His view is that people who marry (I would add, enter any committed relationship) and expect simply happiness are sure to be disappointed. If one sees marriage as a way to develop character, to enrich the soul, often through struggle, then it is very alive. I think HSPs in particular can appreciate that function of a relationship, for example, when on the average they are disappointed about the depth of conversation with their partner yet apparently accept it and are still satisfied.
Another worthy author is Martin Buber. Some find his classic, I and Thou, very difficult, and prefer the easier relevant parts of The Knowledge of Man or Between Man and Man. Whichever you read, you will sense the depth of relationship that HSPs seek when he describes I and Thou (versus I and It). He insists that these depths can be reached for moments in almost every relationship, even those that are brief. To Buber, they can occur not only with other people, but with parts of nature such as a tree or animal, and with God. Indeed, he thought that with enough I and Thou moments with others, even an atheist would stumble upon the I and Thou with God.
I have been thinking these days that HSPs in particular need a spiritual path and a spiritual practice to take them along the path. But perhaps it is really three paths. The shamans divide the world into three realms: The upper world, this “real” world, and the lower world. Familiarity with each is essential to their work of healing and helping. To me, the path in the lower world means trying to grasp the role of dreams and the archetypal, unconscious, shadow world of the psyche, especially my own. The path in the “real” world is deepening close relationships (and perhaps expressing what you have found in the other two worlds in creative ways). These two are perhaps the most developed “worlds” in this book. For me, meditation is my path in the upper world, but it might be prayer, time in nature, or whatever. I have been meditating forty-five years (Transcendental Meditation) and am sure it helps with all aspects of life, including relationships, but, ultimately, it leads upward. Although these days the teachers on each of these three paths often leave out or even deride the other two, in the light of the shamans, the three paths do not contradict, but complement one another, being part of one larger reality.
The above three paths are already threaded throughout this book, but what I want to emphasize is that at least some spiritual practices can develop into something awesome, stupendous, and completely worthwhile, but over many years. We are taught that you cannot begin too young to invest financially for your retirement, but also that it is never too late to start. Above all, we should not stop our financial investing even when times get tough. But what kind of retirement will it be, really, at least for an HSP, if we are not also investing in something deeper? Whatever our age right now, we are all growing older. But if we also grow in a subtler and more spiritual way, the end result is much, much more than an old, dying body. My hope for you is that you find your best way of traveling toward the final, fullest depths of love.
Aron Phd, Elaine N.. The Highly Sensitive Person in Love: Understanding and Managing Relationships When the World Overwhelms You . Potter/TenSpeed/Harmony. Kindle Edition.
Just a note: all the work I am advocate is Shamanic as the author states, Shamanism bridges the Upper World, the Middle World and Lower World, a wholistic approach to being human, soul and spirit. Each soul has their own path but we can share our knowledge, feelings and emotions.
J.