Soul Mates, Twin Flames and other Flames… for Evolving Souls.
This thing that you call “stalking” does not unnerve me. Fact is that I am aware of you being aware of me and that is normal for me. Time, space, nothing is an obstacle in my state of awareness. The “obsession” you referred to as my “belief” hit a core soul wound for me. I have always been addicted to my own death. I have always preferred being in the astral, out of body, tempting fate, experiencing death. Every partner has been challenged by my desire to demonstrate that I am Immortal. I was born onto the path. I have recalled, relived many past lives, many past deaths, tortures–being sacrificed, burned at the stakes, hung. As well as I have recalled my self as warrior-raping and slaying, having many wives. I had to go though Life Reviews, be given the Summary of my Lifetimes, given my Life Purpose and reason to live.
Always, traveling outside my body, accessing the Light, I had to face the facts. I was not going to be allowed to die. Meanwhile, one of my beloved soul mates was allowed to leap to her death, leaving me to feel misunderstood, forcing me to teach and become a Spiritual Teacher. My friends love me. My family loves me. I am well loved and have always been. Yes, girlfriends have hurt me, tried to even kill me-things like trying to run me over on the street. Same girlfriends, have loved me more than they could handle. It is painful to have soul memories which cause one to feel the need to obliterate the source of pain. I blocked one of my Xes a day ago. She went to my mother to ask me on her behalf me to unblock her. I was hurt that she has a guru she respects more than me as we went through astral realms together and I was pissed off that she does not get our soul relationship is more sacred than some guru. We have not even been partners for over twelve years, and I adore her partner as a very sweet hearted woman and soul. I was still hurt that she did not get that our soul relationship is sacred. I am not possessive but I do in fact, one of my traits, keep track of all the souls in my soul group, my soul family-dead and alive.
Beginning of May, I asked the Light to understand who you are as a soul to mine. I was shown a past life in Egypt. It dawned on me then that we could trigger each other from the core of our Light Beings. Either one of us could either consciously or unconsciously trigger each other. And, that it would be ultimately healing. Days later, I was shown a vision of Black Birds flying around your head. Being given these visions while in a previous romantic relationship, new visions I had yet to understand, I had been opening to the Black Birds. I had to understand what they meant. I did not know I was being warned about you doing harm ,or harm being done to you, or if it was about your soul knowledge. So, I was cautious and set the boundary intentionally. Knowing the power I wield, I had to be cautious about what effects we might trigger as it is hard to know who has harmed, wounded and/or killed whom when it comes to past lives.
I kept telling you that I did not think that you could understand me. Finally, you told me that you knew more than I thought you knew. Finally, I knew that I was not wrong in sensing and feeling my visions had given me enough information to understand the potential of your soul triggering mine. You said I made you feel ill, that you felt nothing, that we are not soul mates. I said, “I hear you.” I did understand that experience. I understood that you body and mind could be jolted from your or our soul memories. I was concerned that we both felt and feel safe.
On July 4th, your astral being told me, “I know you are guiding me.” I was elated and said, “I am guiding you up and down.” I meant, I am guiding you to leave your body and enter it at will. At that moment, I felt bliss and felt our beings merge as Light Beings. I know that your soul knows me, understands me, and that although you yourself or even me myself cannot vocalize this knowledge, it is a given.
Regardless of time and space, we are bound to the eternal Realms of Light Beings. Though we walk in the Shadows, hiding our true selves from all those around us who cannot see, hear or know our selves as Beings of Light, we are never the less Beings of Light. As such, I was shown who you are as a Light Being. I know the origin in this life, this Soul Cycle wherein we have been together. That posed questions for me to take great care in meditating on the meaning of your existence in this life to my existence. It has been very painful. As I had been seeking my Egyptian Queen, my counter-part as a Luminous Light Being. Your Light Being poised to be the potential end of the search caused me to heed your words whether to heal me or otherwise force me to release my wounds so that I could finally open my Heart Light and Soul to my final partner whomever she be, even if that means she is you. You forced me to let go of you. Yet, I know that letting go forces me to accept the boundless reality of love without expectation, beyond control, a total surrender to the mystery of creation-fear of the unknown and unknowable existence.
The penultimate fear is fear of sharing power. Power can be measured in many ways and means. One person may have more mental power. One may have more emotional power. One may have more physical power. One may have more psychic power. One may have more sexual power. Both partners may actually have equal power in various areas of their selves. No matter who has more or less and even if both are equal in many measures of power, sharing power is an act of surrender of will power.
Much can be said and written about power of individuals. There is no lack of examples in relationship. Nearly any argument will be based on demonstrating power. Even the dating and mating game is an act of maneuvering with power to gain the attraction, confidence and commitment of a potential mate. Merely reminiscing on acts of gaining favor from a potential mate can bring up all kinds of memories whether from one’s own unique memory plus all memories gathered in childhood through to adulthood from all sources. The metaphor “the birds and the bees lecture” about sexual education can conjure up all kinds of animalistic rituals to seduce and gain favor of a mate. However when the mating pair is coupling or has coupled, there will be the ruminations of power plays that are embedded into our hearts, minds, psyche and soul. The surrender to the mate requires safety, security and trust. If one partner surrenders while the other has hidden agendas to control the relationship, there will be significant power struggles. If both cannot surrender, there will be no partnership. If both partners are willing and able to isolate power issues and negotiate total surrender to accept, acknowledge and balance the inequalities and equalities, both partners can gain from the power of the relationship as a partners.
The final solution, whether by legal or oral agreement and contract is marriage. Anyone can make an agreement to marry another given legal age of consent. Yet, Sacred Marriage is one in which both parties are c0-creating the most Sacred of Unions. Intimacy between two parties who are agreeing to share all the layers of their selves from hearts, minds, souls are committed to continually building intimacy no matter the circumstances which can arise from inside their own selves or outside their selves. Fear of commitment arises no matter the circumstances as all fears arise from the mere courting of a potential partner. If one party does not know s/he feels the desire for marriage when entering the relationship, s/he may hesitate. If the other partner knows s/he has entered relationship with the desire to marry yet does not express this to the other party, this may come as surprise. Not everyone is prepared to consider a lifetime commitment. It takes time and energy to get through the stages of getting to know one’s own self not to mention getting to the self of a partner.
Building intimacy also requires two people to discuss the potential outcome of a relationship. Are we building intimacy for eventual marriage? Are we testing intimacy in case we may want marriage? Are we thrown into marriage for reasons we have not chosen? Are we feeling pressured into marriage? What do I need and want? What does s/he need and want? Can we meet our mutual needs? What wants can we live without? What wants are we not willing to sacrifice? Partners need to feel free enough to ask each other probing questions about the meaning of marriage. Both parties can create individual lists of questions as well as be prepared to answer the questions from their partner. Making life easier vs harder makes relationship easier vs harder.
The more we as individuals and couples can create our own unique and not so unique lists of questions about our fears of intimacy in self-reflection and mutual shared reflections creates intimacy vs avoiding, ignoring, blocking intimacy. Troubleshooting one’s own self is a task. But actually two people can make games out of building intimacy and have more fun with each other. Otherwise we can fall in to pitfalls of self-delusions of who we are ourselves and illusions we have intimacy when we are role playing, acting out of scripts from movies we watched as children. The Learning About You Game can become part of the daily, weekly, monthly, yearly ritual. Even when you think you know every thing about your self or partner, there is much more to discover, uncover, examine and enjoy. Life can be an adventure with a partner who loves life and plays by the agreed upon rules both partners establish over the course of time.
Here is Part One and Part Two while this is the third part of a three part series. This series articulates a concise and precise bullet proof bullet point serious of subjects for singles dating with intention to marry and couples heading toward or even within a marriage. This always more to learn from and within one’s partnership. Unmasking, unveiling, revealing our hidden, secret, sacred selves within relationship with a partner is the ultimate intimacy between two persons in love – compassion and passion. May your journey into partnership be blessed and sacred.
Enjoy,
Jedhi
Relationship has two key words- relate and ship. These two terms express that there is more than one party. As much self-reflection we can do as individuals, we have our blinders on protecting our fears of abandonment, rejection, loss and other fears. These fears are held deep within our selves, our psyche, our hearts and souls. Protecting our hearts and souls is natural. All animals are self-protective. No organism survives in the wild without protecting itself in some capacity or another. Some animals have natural camouflage while others hide in the shade, dark places. Others have large teeth or horns or claws. The list goes on. The fact is that as we share our selves, we are going to reach the points where we are in fear of sharing our selves. These layers of self-protection are embedded into our survival mechanism. However, there are all kinds of memory patterns and traumas stored in our hearts, minds and soul. Understanding our emotional responses requires self-reflection on our own memories and isolating our memory patterns.
Our memory patterns can cause us to react to situations which we feel as emotionally charged while others in the same position are not emotionally charged. Two people in a couple can have two separate and unique emotional responses to the same stimulus. The stimulus can be as simple as the smell or taste of a food, sense of touch, hearing certain sounds, seeing various colors or environmental scenery. The list goes on in countless sensory experiences of perceiving the world from both inside and outside our selves. These layers can be triggered in both positive and negative ways and means such as watching a movie and having an emotional response of anger, fear, sadness or laughing. One partner may be crying while one is laughing watching the same scenes of a film at a cinema theater. Creating safety and security includes allowing a partner to ask about questions in order to create intimacy to understand the similarities and differences of perception between partners. We cannot assume we know why our partner cries or laughs when we laugh or cry at the same scene we both are watching. The list of examples can on and on. Every time we are sharing our experiences of emotion is an opportunity to examine our own selves as well as learn more from our partners about their selves and communicate and build trust and intimacy.
Sometimes our previous experiences of feeling pain about love creates an illusion that love is the cause of pain. This illusion can become embedded due to various experiences from childhood onto adulthood. Some people have early childhood trauma which never leaves them. Some people have trauma later in life. There are infinite experiences of pain we can accumulate over the course of our lives. Our love lives also can accumulate painful traumas. It does not matter the actual memory if it is remembered as being attached to pain. Pain can be mental, emotional, psychic, physical, and also sexual. We cannot assume any one person’s pain is less than or greater than another person’s pain. The pain a person holds may be entirely unique and unexplainable to others. Yet, in a one to one relationship, emotions surface and whether we can pin point the cause of the emotions, we must learn to handle our emotions. The fact of this matter is that love opens us to feelings which triggers our emotions whether we understand our own selves or not. All we can do is allow our self and partner the freedom to express emotions without criticism and judgment. This is a point of mystery and unity. A partnership is based on partnering as a team effort. If we do not know, we need to agree to accept and acknowledge that we do not always need to know. At least as emotions surface, as long as we are safe and secure, we can build trust based on the team effort in co-creating trust.
Needless to say that some people have sexual trauma and have natural fear of sex. Yet, people who have no sexual trauma may also have fear of sex. It seems that they are merely afraid for no reason. Ultimately, sex is intimacy which renders partners vulnerable. Creating safety, security, trust are keys to breaking through fears of being vulnerable. Some people can have sex and not express emotions. Sex may be the key for those people to actually open to becoming more vulnerable to finally discuss their other fears verbally. If one partner expresses intimacy through sex while the other does not, a lot of talking is needed to create communication between the partners. If both partners are oriented towards sex a means of intimacy, they both will need to create safety, and security and trust from their sexual relation and build toward other forms of communication.
In some ways, this is much like romancing each other as they may need to express affection through ritualistic ways and means much like animals. If both partners are afraid of sex, both must learn to communicate by allowing each other to express emotions and co-create a ways and means of learning how to accept and acknowledge their own individual emotions as well as expressing their emotions freely with the partner. There is an endless list of reasons for one partner or both partners to feel fear of sex and both partners need to discuss the ways and means of researching, examining and sharing resources from sources of information to unlock their sexual emotional desires to handle their intimacy through sex.
Part One and Part Three are here while this is the second part of a three part series. There is more than enough to ponder upon between the issues of love and sex. Some people believe that love must come first. Some people believe that sex must come first. For certain, two people entering a relationship need to discuss their views on love and sex as well as the rules of engagement. There is plenty of resources both in print, film and internet media to discover more and more fun and exciting issues about love and sex which can be shared with one’s partner.
Enjoy,
Jedhi
“If I hadn’t learned from you about my ex from 30 years ago, I wouldn’t have tried again. Now I’ve wasted 30 years because there was no one to explain or guide. So many on the sites are broken and distraught because they don’t get where they are at and feel they have lost everything.” ~ Jed Heart anonymous member
Sacred Union Marriage Issues Checklist is a bullet proof bullet point list for troubleshooting intimacy issues in a partnership-any partnership between two consenting adults. If and when two consenting adults decide together to play out fantasies within the context of their intimacy, that is not covered here. Fantasy that is covered come from various sources including children’s fairy tales and other stories, television shows and movies, theater films and plays as well many other countless media sources. Role playing does not create emotional intimacy. Instead, role playing creates limits on individuals who have feelings and emotions. Creating a checklist of role playing characters each partner idolizes and seeks to act out as a means of acting romantic will open intimacy further. If and when both partners can communicate to each other about their internalized fantasies intimacy is able to seep through the role play characters and the real intimacy begins.
Beyond role playing, shedding off the layers of ideals is quite an amazing feat. There will be many layers of ideals that we can discover when we allow our partner to express what s/he feels, sees, hears as feedback. Ideals are very difficult to discern. We need to be able and willing to feel sacred, safe and secure to trust our partner to express our feelings and emotions freely. Our partner is more likely than not to point out our ideals as we tend to act and react emotionally in our relationship. Good starting points is writing a checklist of all the ways we say, “should”, “would”, “could”. It helps us in relationship if we can make troubleshooting intimacy as a game vs a means of being right vs wrong.
Mentioning right vs wrong, the need to be right is a sure sign of perfectionism. Yet, there are also many ways a person can demonstrate perfectionism. A checklist of needs vs wants can aid in troubleshooting perfectionist ideals. The exercise of feeling safe and secure enough to allow our partner to feel free to open her/his mind to associate layers of what s/he feels, thinks about what s/he expects to be perfect is ultra intimacy. This layer of expectation may be a very sensitive intimacy source of irritating agitating needs to feel loved. Consider a partner may have been expected to act towards others in certain ways as well as act to expect others to treat him/her in certain ways. Every person has unique expectations built from birth and childhood throughout adult relationships in all areas of life-family, school, work, religion, social, and other previous partners.
This article is part one of a three part series. At this point, it is enough to ponder fears of accepting and acknowledging our attractions and emotional responses to potential mates. Denial of our emotions can lead us to avoid, ignore and otherwise sabotage building intimacy at any point in a mutual attraction from before it manifests as a visible relationship or at any time between meeting to actually communicating, dating and oven well beyond into a marriage. Emotional hiding may occur at any time fear rears its head. Pondering fear will bring up enough memories of all ways and means we have felt embarrassed, humiliated, maybe even merely humbled. Shying away from sharing our feelings and opening our awareness to our emotions takes skill in self-flection and communication with others. Learning how to feel safety and security in order to feel we can trust others is not easy nor simple. It merely sounds good. In practice, it takes both courage and bravery to lose self-reflective self-consciousness and express our inner most hidden feelings and emotions with a potential partner or partner. Denial of emotions which are painful can cause all sorts of trust issues.
This is a point where Positive Thinking does not do the trick. It is self-examination, ruthless digging into the dungeons of our most hidden emotional laden memories which is the key to reveal our selves to our own selves and then to a partner. Sometimes, the potential partner or partner sees, hears and knows us better than we imagine as they are viewing our actions and reactions from the outside. It can obvious that we are denying our feelings and emotions. Of course that is in itself pain to become aware that we may not be able to hide from a potential mate. Yet, learning to accept and acknowledge our feelings and emotions even while we feel vulnerable is enough to break through our emotional patterns of hiding and denial. There is much to be pondered for one’s self and partner. A partnership will stall or a break up may occur if emotional withholding becomes habitual. If one party is not certain s/he can accept and acknowledge both parties are in relationship, whether discussed or not, it is time to create a list of questions starting with this one, “How do you feel about me and you?” or, “Are you thinking and feeling that we are heading into a relationship?” or, “Are we in a relationship?” A relationship may be happening or not happening depending on the intimacy both parties are able and willing to discuss about their definitions of relationship. No one needs or wants to feel s/he is off guard and in a relationship s/he has not agreed to enter as a partner. Sometimes, one or both parties merely need a check in to discuss their relationship basis and define their feelings and emotions more than they previously discussed. At some point, a relationship exists for both or it does not. And, this must be agreed upon by both consenting adults to accept and acknowledge that they are both in partnership in the relationship.
To be continued… Part Two, Part Three
Enjoy,
Jedhi
“Mindfulness teaches us the nature of the shadow. Heartfulness teaches us the nature of the light. Without these qualities in balance, we will evolve either eyeless in the darkness or blinded by the light. Unable in either case to perceive the subtle idiosyncrasies of mind or motion in the shimmering blur of our eagerness for more and our longing not to suffer. But to see straight ahead, one needs to embrace the shadow with the light. To put our world-weary and self-interested head on the shoulder of the divine, our suffering dissolving in tears as we embrace and are embraced by the Beloved. Light is self existent, shadow an interruption of the light by something seemingly solid. Investigating the seeming solidity of things, the shadow too dissolves, melts at the edge and disperses, disappearing into the present heart.”
Levine, Stephen. Embracing the Beloved: Relationship as a Path of Awakening (pp. 22-23). Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group.
I am not nor do not advocate Buddhism or any other organized form of Philosophy or Religion. However, I have appreciated the Levines since the 1990s. They have lived a life of love and shared their trials and tribulations as well as gleaning the essence of being available to true love from their hearts with each other and in their Death and Dying workshops.
I became interested in their work as leaders in the field of Awareness and Awakening Heart, Body and Mind with their tape cassette series To Love and Be Loved: The Difficult Yoga of Love* when they presented that series to the world. I went out and bought the same tape series for family and very close friends. I felt this authentic presentation of the nitty gritty intimacy from within their relationship was both professional and heart touching. I can admit that their recordings of their workshop on the Yoga of Love touched my heart forever. I have always been an advocate of their work in the field of relationships. My only caveat about the Levines is that I do not agree with their definition of Lucid Dreaming. For a more precise definition and experiential instruction, I advocate The Travel Guide to the Other Side for Gatekeepers of Death and Rebirth, Jodell Bumatay.
The Endless Heart – Relationship as Spiritual Healing (part 1)
1. Introduction
- 2. Relationship with Self
- 3. Dying Into Life
- 4. The Importance of Daily Practice
- 5. Ham & Eggs: Service Starts at Home
- 6. Forgiveness in Family Relationships
- 7. Grief and Unfinished Business
- 8. Opening the Heart
- 9. Learning to Love
The Endless Heart – Relationship as Spiritual Healing (part 2)
1. Take Tea With Fear
- 2. The Vessal is Already Broken
- 3. Precious Collaboration
- 4. Save The Box
- 5. Forgiveness Meditation
- 6. Allowing Forgiveness to Unfold
The Endless Heart – Relationship as Spiritual Healing (part 3)
1. Brahmachari and Monogamy
- 2. Short Term Contracts
- 3. Wedding Vows
- 4. Q&A – Forgiveness
- 5. Q&A – Parenting
- 6. Ending Poetry
*Description of the original To Love and Beloved audio series from Sounds True, Co. at Amazon:
Twenty years ago, two spiritual seekers met at a workshop about conscious dying. What happened next is the extraordinary foundation for To Love and Be Loved – a life-changing program about what it means to be alive and in love. Together ever since that first day, Stephen and Ondrea Levine poured all of the wisdom, compassion, and courage they gained from their work with the suffering and grief stricken into the mystery of their own relationship. The result is a beautiful, unexpected unfolding, a teaching that transcends the anguish of existence to show us the way to God – through the darkest nights of our most intimate relationships.
In the rich and forbidding depths of our personal pain, the Levines teach, lies the essence of intimacy, not only with one another but with God. This is why true commitment requires us to “swim across the reservoir of each other’s grief”. Stephen and Ondrea lead you beyond psychological explanations and show how couples together can immerse themselves in the “ocean of compassion” – where you will discover how to face and overcome the fear that closes your heart and replace it with mercy: the key to creativity, freedom, and love.
Through honest, real-life sharing, To Love and Be Loved teaches you how to discover the greatest gift you can ever have: forgiveness – for yourself and your lover.
The Difficult Yoga of Relationship
Why are so few yogis and mystics committed to human partners? The Levines suggest that it’s because they haven’t recognized the profound value of so high a practice as the difficult yoga of partnership. Our intimate relationships, they teach, actually contain complete blueprints for spiritual realization. With exercises, meditations, and examples, they demonstrate how to decipher and use this priceless map. To Love and Be Loved brings you the crowning insights from these pioneering teachers.
A Tribute to Stephen Levine: 1937-2016
Dear Beloved,
I know you may not read this. However, I had a dream a few nights ago. You needed me to forgive. I meditated on that.
You may not understand why I felt how I felt. I literally have felt like I was Spiritually Raped by you. I know that feels harsh. I was hurt by your reaction to my dream when I yelled at you. I tried to tell you why that was so painful and vulnerable for me. I felt you could not understand why I felt so deeply about that.
I hit the core of what I feel it means for both of us. Your reaction to my anger was obviously to me your fear of anger because of your mother. I had that too until I faced it in relationships where I learned to handle my fear of both being angry and vulnerable to anger if the other. However, I had told you I have always protected my deepest heart felt truths. This where the betrayal began.
My Great Aunt dreamt a powerful baby witch would be born and told my mother before meeting my father. All my childhood, my mother berated me for being a witch. She emotionally tortured me, constantly telling me I was the Devil’s child. Being my Great Protected as much as she could, and my Grandfather guiding all my childhood, I had a spiritual path vs. had I not I would have committed suicide like many lost souls do.
When you immediately reacted that I was projecting I felt I could not trust you. I diligently have double, triple reality checked all my psychic experiences since I was a child. I stopped telling my mother things when I was five. I relied on spirit guides and my Great Aunt and Grandfather until I was taken to Marcy Calhoun at 16yo. She saved my life by grounding me. My first true love saved my soul for sharing and merging hers with me.
When you rejected the fact that 1) I was vulnerable, 2) I was sharing from my dreams, 3) my dreams with had been you and me as dense physical beings communicating, 4) you came to me before I knew you and later you shared your soul pain in a song, not to mention other dreams wherein I could not have known at all, 5) dismissing you had given me a message about you taking off and I was giving you feedback on my experience of you in the Dreamtime, 6) I felt you were rejecting me.
You said, I would lose you if I told you what to do. I was walking on eggshells not able to tell you all my psychic feedback because you would experience being told what to do. I said you would lose me but I was so pissed you may not have discerned my wording if you told me how I felt or think.
So I reacted with how I felt about how you reacted to me. I felt Spiritually Raped by your reactions to my deep dream intimacy with you. Not because I feel you do not love me but because I felt you needed to control my love for you. And I feel you must feel the same in reverse. Because you guarded your self from intimacy I need. For me, intimacy comes from deep within the dreams. If I do not connect in dreams and we cannot communicate, I feel disconnected. I felt you were isolating to disconnect because of pain coming through us both.
I meditated deeper to my core to be able to share why we hit this core wound. I felt you feeling me invalidating you while I was validating my self. You validated your self while guarding your self too. You guarded by needing unconditional love to safe guard you. I felt like you were using love, feeling love to mask your wounds. I felt if you could just stop hiding and face your fear of feeling your wounds with me, you could release deep core pain. I was guarding myself with knowledge so you would not be able to pull the wool over my face-my extrasensory senses of your being.
I was not letting you get away with not facing this deep core pain because it was driving you away from your power. I did not want you to hate me. But if all I could do was let you need to hate me to self-reflect that was the only choice you gave me.
In my self-reflection, I get we both were feeling Spiritually Raped because we had been guarding out hearts from the rejection and torment we both experienced from our own mothers. The closer we came to releasing this pain, the more we threw up subtle guards we both felt as rejection and abandonment.
I always am hurt when you feel, think or insinuate I cannot understand you. This wound you have exacerbates my wounds of proving I am who I am. Explaining my expanded awareness of extrasensory sensed perceptions as real, densely physically, emotionally experienced does not help you because it triggers you to guard your memories and emotions attached. Basically your response is to guard by deflecting or denying my extrasensory experiences with you is unreal, untrue, denying me validation of who I am to my self and you.
You said I was fighting my self but could not admit you were fighting your own self.
It really pissed me off when you said you would let me spin. I hold Light and vulnerability for you and everyone close to me. I do not let anyone spin unless I actually do not care. Someone has to prove they are unworthy of my heart to do that. Yet, you wanted my unconditional love when you had it already. I finally just pushed you away so you could spin and feel how you like that.
Yes, I opened the Spiritual Rape Wounds so everyone could process it with both of us. I Sacrificed Our Wound to Communal Healing. We are not alone. What we experienced everyone will eventually experience in intimacy. I have humble humility to release my vanity and needs to be accepted and acknowledged enough to openly shatter my self a reflections to share so others can reap the benefits of me jumping off my high horse and over the cliffs onto what seems like deep waters.
I told you I never have to say, “I love you.” again. Acts are greater than words. You will know when you feel you know.
Namaste,
Jedhi
I am do not feel the Wanting, Needing and Heart Pain. I had throat and heart pain this past week due to feeling the Pain of Separation. I have been in my Grieving Process. I was the one who brought up that We had to release the Intensity of Wanting and Needing of Merging. I had no intention of breaking up and separating. However, that is the outcome. I had felt that we needed to focus on our own home base to prepare for meeting. Living a world apart, I have to coordinate my income and living conditions to handle travel. I needed time and space to prepare my environment for change. She needed time and space to create the environment where she lives. It seemed to be too much as it was a constant anxiety not at all helped by the distance between our worlds. Every fear and doubt came up. I was typically opening and sharing as much as mine as possible so that there would be no hidden emotional signaling. That was also overstimulating and overwhelming for emotionally. She was not telling me her own issues. That was causing me fear that she had fear of intimacy and that I was going to arrive and trigger her to emotionally withdraw which could and most likely trigger me to emotionally withdraw. We had our first argument in March. We went through some days of breakup. Then we broke through the emotional barriers and opened up to vulnerability. That deepened our senses of commitment. I felt that we had crossed through to trust each other.
However, vulnerability was waxing and waning. Finally, the us Pull was creating a sense of distancing. And, the more I tried to point this in varieties of ways, including sharing deep core memories and belief systems which were breaking, the more she could not understand that I was sharing my Pain of Separation. Instead. Her reaction was to tidy up my messy emotions by telling me that I was Fighting Yourself (Myself). I had pointed out that she was also doing the same by trying to tell me that I am doing something wrong. We both did that actually, the pointing out what the other was doing to argue. So, we were pointing out what was causing us to argue and that became a cycle we were not able break, Merely, we could not just accept that we were seeing the same things and different things and not able to let it go. We were rotating around the Need to Be Heard. Both of felt this Need to Be Heard equally. Yet that Need to Be Heard is an issue that we both needed to release within our own selves. We both know, have regularly discussed that we both feel the same. That we both are sharing the same emotions and intentions. This Need to Be Heard is intense. It creates this Sense of Division which is actually and illusion. Even though she said I am Fighting Myself, and I was arguing with her explaining I am Vulnerable and In Fear of Losing Myself Within Her I know that she was right. Yet, she was not at all sharing her sense of Needing Space and Time as I was telling her she needed. She was denying that she Needed Space and Time for Freedom to do things without Needing and Wanting constant Merging into Union. And, when she broke with me, she told me she Needed Freedom… what I had been telling her for weeks but not intending to break up. So, that is the crux of the Union. I feel that the real issues are of Emotional Release of Old Emotional Blocking and Emotional Withdraw Patterns for both of US. Not just Me: Not just Her.
I am working on doing things that need to be done, complete projects, start projects which will be ongoing and accomplish some goals. Some things are super simple as cleaning and clearing areas of my house to prepare for me to be able to travel. Some are complex like redesigning my website after it crashed some years back. Of course, there are many tasks to do to keep my self completely busy. I could not do a lot of these when we were Needing and Wanting to be Together daily. The Daily Vortex of Needing and Wanting was driving us into obsessive and possessive behaviors. I had stopped quite a lot of social interaction. I have had to reset my daily routines to focus on my home base with intention to continue to be open for meeting all the changes I have worked toward to handle being away from home base and starting a new home base. The concept was that my home would by our second home base. And, we could travel when we were ready to handle that level of spiritual work in the world together.
For me, being ultra sensitive, I am often precognitive, seeing ahead and hearing voices giving me warnings and heads up. I say voices because I hear male and female voices. These are not the same voices. They are different. They have different messages. Some messages are not at all for me but for other people This is an issue that makes knowing what to do a challenge. I can hear a voice that is not so pleasant but a plea for help. Precognitive Dreams and Visions are troublesome to the One. She feels that she needs to make her own decisions. Me telling her a dream, she could not and would not accept that I was seeing and experiencing anything was real. She told me I am projecting. She is not like that. She would never do that. That was our first fight. I was furious. It takes a lifetime to continually test precognition against reality. I cannot have my own partner telling me I do not know what I am perceiving. That is like telling me that I do not know myself. I was adamant that is dangerous to my health and well being. At the Core Soul issue, I have experienced being Burned as a Witch. I had brought this up several times as I had felt called to travel to United Kingdom over 15 years ago. However, the Astral Dead are layers of Beings I can See, Hear and Feel. 
That experience is overloading to my body, mind, heart, nervous system. I knew for years that I would travel to United Kingdom but needed to feel safe and secure with the friends around me. I could not feel safe and secure with her if she is telling me that I am Projecting. I would never say that to her. I know that would undermine her own sense of self. Now, she feels that I am Burning Her at the Stake because I have been so open to share my feelings and emotions and presently, we are having a non-agreement.
We are Separate because she feels she cannot handle argument and fighting. I feel that we need to learn to handle each other’s Emotions and Emotional Responses. And, if that means there is an Emotional Drama, so be it. I am all for Emotional Release and Group Processing to support the shifts and changes we both need to heal. Neither of Us can actually be in a relationship with anyone given the Core Emotional and Soul issues we are processing. So, I am not feeling fear and doubt. I know We must both work through what We both triggered. With all the various drama, I am fine. I feel it is all a matter of processing and learning how to handle emotions in our relationship. I say Union. I am committed to Ultimate Union.
I have been meditating on releasing, all of my own ideals of perfection within my being which create an emotional psychic push pull so that I can actually experience feeling vulnerable of feeling open and emotionally sensory available in order to flow with you freely to release the push pull. I have been working on deep core unconditional love for you so that you have total freedom.
I have felt heart pain and directly have been shifting and changing around release of attachment to my own fears of abandonment, loss and rejection from the Beloved. I am aligning with my Beloved yet I have also been flailing and struggling through this process of expanding my heart in awareness that we both actually need unconditional love to grow emotionally, psychically, spiritually and freely. This psychic emotional process opened me to greater acceptance of my deep core emotions and psychic experiences in order to share expressions which from the Point of Light view are Primal Urges, Deep Core Desires from the depths of my Soul. These Primal Urges giving rise to Deep Needs, Deep Desires, Burning Desire to Co-Create and Destroy Self towards a Combustive Unity. The Desire so Deeply within the Soul to Burn through Separation from Source as Beloved.
I have been breaking out of the deep core expectations of my own obsessive and possessive needs which have been touched by the Beloved.
I understand exactly what you mean, have been feeling everything you are saying and been shifting in all ways to grow with you. Even to the point that I also love you regardless. I am not going to throw you to the wolves. I love you beyond that response. I have reached deeper levels of unconditional love for you.
The love we have opened to desire created a constancy of needs to be fulfilled. I opened to breaking through this need to accept a more pure love. As you were shifting and changing I opened to release my emotional possessive desires to need and want you to be with me obsessively to allowing my heart to love you while releasing the pain of fear that your freedom to be who, what, where, when, why you are is and does not reflect your love for me at any point in time and space.
I have been meditating in Light, opening my Heart to Purer States of Light because we both are on accepting our Light as a Path to Ultimate Freedom and that also includes a Spiritual Intimacy which although you may wish to release me, in the All Is One, we are both aware of our Soul Beings in Light.
As such, I have been meditating on that Pure Love from Light which neither of us controls.
I have also been meditating on our friendship. We bypassed that. And that is actually necessary as we both have too much to share and learn from each other as souls.
Before, I was throwing you away like a lover who had no real use. And, I was reacting. I actually always work to deepen all of my relations except when someone has need to abuse and use me. I opened up to accept that and release it, a few weeks ago. I can and do grow emotionally. Meditating on friendship past few weeks, seeing we both need that spiritual friendship as well as human friendship to open to being whole and complete as humans having spiritual experience.
This is that dual life I used to live. My Romantic life and Spiritual life was in duality.
I know we both have lived this duality. Both of us divided our focus in relationships wherein we had our personal relationship issues and our personal psychic and spiritual issues. This duality created such a divide that no matter how much love we give we are never received. And, I felt we both were working through this core soul wounding of separation and division toward a sense of complete unity.
I know we both have lived this duality. Both of us divided our focus in relationships wherein we had our personal relationship issues and our personal psychic and spiritual issues. This duality created such a divide that no matter how much love we give we are never received. And, I felt we both were working through this core soul wounding of separation and division toward a sense of complete unity.
My graduation dream within past few weeks:
I graduated from Desire Realm Love to entirely Pure Love.
I realized Perfectionism to Perfect Love and Devotion beyond Idealism. I feel as free to feel Live and Love without limitation, no need for expectation, validation, permission to experience Being Love and Loved.
Notes: The Finally Touch to the Seven Modes of Relationship: Love and Beloved
I have thoroughly enjoyed reading this book, The Seven Levels of Intimacy by Mathew Kelly. There are issues that I have brought up again and again and again: relationship is not merely relating but is a partnership. And, bringing feelings, emotions as well as ideas, concepts, thoughts, memories processing together to coordinate needs and wants is a lot of work. It requires opening to one’s own feelings, emotions and thought processes as well as opening to the feelings, emotions and thought processing of another human being.
The viewpoints we have from childhood onto adulthood carry us into relationship yet along the way, life tests our beliefs, abilities to adapt, thrive and survive. Facing changes in health, wealth, and various obstacles life can throw onto our paths, being able to approach communicating with a partner is required to focus on the issues which need to be addressed on day to day, year to year basis. Choices, decisions must be shared, negotiated. If we can come to a consensus we can make healthy choices. If we compromise our values, we may not make healthy choices. There are compromises we make based on changes in our values. Over time, our values may shift and most likely will shift. We may find that our positions on certain issues may change from our view points changing. We may learn more about what is true and real and what is idealistic and fantasy mostly. A relationship challenges us to view our partner’s view points. That in itself is one of the most growth oriented challenging aspects of relationship.
I have emphasized mutual dreams, visions and astral experience. That is because the more attuned we are to our partners, the more we share extrasensory perceptions. The more we experience being extrasensory perceptive and with a partner, the more we can attune our selves to reality as a basis of making choices. The more we make decisions from a mutually agreed upon perspective, the more effective we are in co-creating a mutually inclusive lifestyle.
I am sharing the quote from the Seven Levels of Intimacy because although the author does not discuss the visceral experiences of intimacy, he does discuss the necessity of openly share mutual needs and wants as the seventh level, the highest or deepest level of intimacy. Co-creating a lifestyle requires agreement on the essential desires… legitimate needs in a relationship. Here is the quote:
“The seventh level of intimacy is where our quest to know and be known by each other turns into a truly dynamic collaboration. This final level of intimacy is the level of legitimate needs. We all have legitimate needs. If you don’t eat, you will die. If you don’t breathe, you will die. As we discussed earlier, these legitimate needs are most easily understood in relation to the physical realm, but we have legitimate needs in each of the four aspects of life, physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. Knowing each other’s legitimate needs is a very important part of our quest to know each other in relationship. As an individual, you thrive when your legitimate needs are being met. The same is true for your significant other, your children, parents, friends, and colleagues. Having what we want doesn’t necessarily cause us to thrive; having what we need causes us to thrive. The seventh level of intimacy is not only about knowing each other’s legitimate needs but also about helping each other to fulfill them. If you have a great relationship, will your legitimate needs always be met? No. Sometimes things just happen, and our legitimate needs are the casualties. But this should be the exception, not the norm. When our legitimate needs chronically go unmet, we become irritable, restless, discontented, and frustrated. An individual and a relationship can endure these stressful emotions for only so long.
The seventh level of intimacy is about collaborating in the most dynamic way to know and tend to each other’s legitimate needs. It is about creating a lifestyle with the person we love that is focused on the fulfillment of legitimate needs, driven by the understanding that the fulfillment of legitimate needs causes the human person to thrive… and causes our relationships to thrive. Here, at the pinnacle of our quest for intimacy, we are able to share our needs with those closest to us. It is awe-inspiring to see a couple, or a family, working together to identify and fulfill each other’s legitimate needs. When you see such a relationship, you just know it enjoys a powerful intimacy. Through the acceptance of each other’s different and sometimes opposing opinions (the third level), the revelation of our hopes and dreams (the fourth level), the honoring of each other’s unique feelings (the fifth level), and the awareness of each other’s faults, fears, and failures (the sixth level), we have learned a variety of ways to revere and celebrate the individuality of our partner. Now, in the seventh level, through the discovery of each other’s legitimate needs, we can begin to build a lifestyle that helps each of us become the-best-version-of-ourselves. Do you know what your legitimate needs are? Do you know what your significant other’s legitimate needs are? Kelly, Matthew (2005-11-15). The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved (p. 217). Touchstone. Kindle Edition.”
I highly advocate studying intimacy for all types of relationships. Whether between two people, a family, a group we have different levels of intimacy. As long as we are being authentic and real, we are sharing our selves. We cannot avoid and ignore intimacy. All of our relationships requires some level of intimacy. We are relating to people all of the time. In the Seven Levels of Intimacy, banter is the first level. We have that wherever we go to do business – shopping and etc. We make friendships based on higher levels of intimacy. And, we have partnerships based on the highest levels of intimacy. This book has been a pleasure to read as it does not so much teach or instruct but gives order to the issues about intimacy. It has helped me to sort through my vast experience of all types of relationship as well as be able to communicate the issues about intimacy that I had not previous been able to explain. I hope others read it, enjoy it and discuss it.
Namaste,
Jedhi
My evolution from being a private person–dreaming with my spirit guides to being a public person dreaming with people around the world has been one of intense inner growth. My fear that I could not find a partner given that I can dream with people around the world has been a real one. My astral being is more than I am as a person. I can only merely communicate as a human whereas my astral being can travel through space and time, from past to present to future in no order whatsoever other than what is presented as necessary for learning and healing. I literally have been afraid that no partner could handle the visceral sensitivity I require to be in an intimate relationship. I had been withholding my feelings and emotions based on my past experiences.
All of last year, I was battling with myself to allow myself to feel my feelings and express my emotions. I have written all about that. However, it is a real situation. My partner has to be on board with being able to feel and emote. I cannot do that alone in a two-way relationship. Not only that, but my partner also has to grow beyond her own fears of being aware that she is also an astral being who can also be present in space, time, past, present and future in no order other than her own soul ordains necessary. That is a tall order. Albeit, I made the request for that order to my Luminous Light Being.
So, what kind of things are going on that I am feeling I need to express now? Talking about being a Spirit Guide while one is alive is not actually been easy to do. We have had all kinds of labels for people who can astral travel and heal and teach others in the astral. However, in 2003, I was shown that my Luminous Light Being is a Spirit Guide and that I am that being in the Light. This self-realization falls flat on the ears of atheists, and squelches of ears of theists. Even those who are Buddhists are skeptical, criticial and judgemental. However, that only leaves Yogis. Yoga has been usurped by athletes. But the real Yoga means Union as in Union with Source or God. And, authentic Yogis become Spirit Guides in the Flesh. That is what Yogis do.
I have not discussed any particular belief system because no belief gets you beyond the Mind. God Realization is an Ultimate State of Being. For all intent purposes, being Self-Realized has all the heartache of Non-Self-Realized. The real test of Union with Source is Facing Opposition. Love of Other as Self is the Goal. And there is a real problem with people who do not feel that once one begins this path s/he can have a partner. That is why I began Jed Heart. Yes, we can have Union with Source and with Partner.
To be in Partnership with a Twin Flame means we are working on the same Soul Issues that divide All of Us from Source. I mean, the Twin Flame Partner has worked through most of their Soul Lessons and the remaining ones are Shared with the Twin Flame. Those remaining Soul Lessons may be the hardest lessons. That is often why the Twin Flame relationship is the hardest one to yield and let go of our power issues. I am no different in that respect. I have enjoyed astral travel from young childhood. Being able to willingly handle my own astral experiences and learn and grow has been a life time of adventure. Sharing that adventure has been a blessing. But sharing my power, that has yet to occur at the level of Twin Flame Partnership. I have equally feared it and desired sharing power. However, I know that is going on.
I have to have a great sense of humor to be able to handle my own inner battles over power. I have a great sense of humor. And, some days, I am perfectly happy to not share my power. On other days, I would love to share my power. It is not about myself though. It is about the evolution of my Soul. And, my Soul does not accept my human excuses. As embarrassing as that is true, it is true. If I do not comply with my Luminous Light Being, I will dream all kinds of alternate realities. I will be shown what is wrong with my thinking and I will have to adjust my self. It is as simple as that. It can be quite embarrasing that I know that not just my own Light Being does this but that all Light Beings have this same awareness of each other. That is the real blessing in disguise. In the Light, we are transparent, we cannot hide.
And, so that is an incentive to keep releasing all kinds of internal excuses and denial about sharing power. Withholding my power withholds sharing on a planetary level. And, that is not funny. Our planet needs all of the Light Beings present and available to teach, heal, and pass on our knowledge of accessing the Light for generations to come. This Twin Flame movement is about that: bringing Powerful Souls into Union to Save Our Planet. That is the bottom line. So, there, I said it, it is a battle between self and Self- litle self and Greater Self in the World. Choosing Your Mate is Greater than You and Your Mate. It is about Being the Best You, the Best Both of You.
Jedhi
I learned to meditate by tuning into all the senses of my body. So, I do not do chakra system meditation. I focos on every sensation and pay attention to any feeling and emotion arising.
From there, I can tune in with My inner ears and eyes. In 1995, I made a break through. I was focusing on fear I my heart. I was considering breaking up with the little did I know then would be a major love if my.life. I told her what I was considering and she asked me to think about it. So, I was meditating on my Heart. Next, I found my self as a pointing awareness. That part was not new.
The new part was seeing an electrical webbing of Gold fibers of Light. The question I had asked for my meditation was this: “What am I afraid of?” I knew I was inside of my Heart. I hovered inside my Golden Plasmic Heart. I felt Joy.
By the end of our relationship when she ran and hid in fear, not ever actually breaking uo with me but just dropping off the map, I experienced us as Gold Plasma Light Beings, merging up to the waist. I woke out of that in intense soul pain.
It should be no wonder that when I recant the depth of Heart, Soul, and Light Beings, I am having spiritual experiences which are painful as well as ecstatic. It should be no wonder that I am single as of yet. My experiences of being a human are not for the faint of heart. No former partner would disagree.
All of my relationships are bound in soul connection. After reading the Seven Levels of Intimacy again, I realize that although my relationships are always spiritual and soul based, I have been evolving to release Wants vs Needs.
Each relationship, my Wants were less as I have up unnecessary ideals, goals, earthly possessions. As I let go of Wants, I was pitted against Needs. In my case, I have to give up ideals of Capitolism from which I was raised. I realized early that earthly possessions weighed me down, usurped energy.
I left the Grid and went Off Grid. That challenged each partner. As I opened my realizations to partners who explored living Off Grid with me. So, much of my relationships have been a mutual exploration of letting go of the Modern World Wants and shifting to the Old World Needs.
Living on the Edge of Worlds, World Values, I emphasized my Dreams and Astral Experiences. I allowed my self to feel guided. Partners were also on board until hitting their Edge of Perceptual expansion. That left me continuing my own process on my own. My entire adult life of relationship has been an Evolutionary Soul Process. I have had discussions about Soul Evolution with former partners. I had gauged my Soul Growth with Soul Matesans Soul Flames through deep discussions comparing and contrasting our individual growth.
I leave no pain orders unexamined. After self-reflection, becoming aware of my own feelings and emotions, I open my self to communicate about my discoveries. Fortunately, I began in my first relationship. Over time, I have learned a tremendous amount about Self and Other.
There is less guess work about and from within relationship. Yet I have been adjusting to the bare essence, the bare essential truth of being aware and responsible to communicate clearly and not so clearly is a full on sense of being authentic and real. There is no hiding behind an Open Heart.
I had to understand what it would feel like to open my Heart all the time without fear of people outside of my relationship crossing boundaries, creating tension, criticising, judging, making intimacy difficult to manage from within a relationship. Last year, I opened my Heart Light to share with the World. I realized that my Twin Flame and I are on the path of Sharing vs Covering our Heart Light.
I have learned a great deal over the past year. Light coming through me magnetized and catalyzed various people. I was handling a lot of processing with others. Then I got to a standstill of realization, I needed to focus manifesting my Twin Flame relationship. I accomplished core healing issues with several people and groups. This process opened me to understand the emotional impact my spiritual work has on others outside one on one relationship as well as holding boundaries again and again. Opening my Heart Light, I opened vulnerable soul connections with richer depth of experience.
I have discussed being extra-sensitive yet I always need to emphasize the sensory experience as visceral. In order to open to more sensory experience, I had to heal the fear of feeling pain of others. To be understood, I repeat the fact that my experiences of feeling other people’s trauma has been palpable and real for me. Experiences of other people’s traumatic memories has been daunting. I have had to face fear in so many variations exhaustive to my physical body. Because of that, I require a partner who is aware of and holds space and time for my internal shifts from self awareness to other. Meanwhile, I have only wanted to experience my self with a partner. Being psychic has been a challenge. My Twin Flame is My Ultimate Challenge. No one can handle being One on One Psychic and Not Feel the Light from Within without Intention, Focus and Heart.
Admittedly, I did not believe anyone could keep up with me as a Human opening to My Light Being. My first first hurdle to have faith in another Human can handle processing the Light with me as a Soul. The second was to release all of my fear of being manipulative and manipulated because of my vulnerability was a challenge to my Power. Those were no small feats. I had to open my Heart and submerge into depths of my life experiences of fear. I had to open every crevice hiding in my Heart. That was painfilled. Those releases fleshed out my fear of Being Loved. I had to open to my Core Soul Needs. That opened me to realize I had to let go of the Fear of Being Loved, Heard, Seen, Felt as feel my own self. I am so sensitive and I can only expect a partner to be so sensitive. Else, I have no interest.
And, my sensitivity spectrum had to match my behavior. I had outgrow my thought patterns coupled with my memory emotional patterns to shift and change so my Outer Self Reflects my Inner Self. Also, that was no party. Well, it was a big party. I invited past partners and other friends to process all these issues with me. Meanwhile, I made my Heart available to their processes. So, yes I did have an International Intimacy Processing Party for a year. I was leaving no stone unturned.
Although, as Queen sings, “The show must go on…”: I am now Avaialable for my Twin Flame relationship.
I have never been so clear, felt so heart free (at least since opening to adult relationship), and all my ducks are in a row. It only took me 30 years since being a teenager. But not everyone is challenged with memories of other people’s pasts and futures. Understanding my self was no walk in the park. I am not even mentioning all the variations of space and time altered realities I had to sort through to find my self. All in all, I figured how I handle my reality.
All of my own experience and gleaning understanding, I plan on being present and available to and my Partner. It is a whole new relationship reality which I feel is worth sharing and learning from being available to feeling bonded in a more focused sense of serving with other. I have been working towards releasing intense anxiety which comes from fearing loss of self, of goals, of being able to track emotions and learn to allow them overly emerge.
The whole Twin Flame relationship requires such deep core awareness of self, of other and of being aware of each other. It is like Being inside a Hall of Mirrors. Yet, although no one is looking, everyone wants and needs to know. It is like Being a teenager again. Family and friends being are attentive to observe meanwhile you are vying for privacy. Yielding to privacy yet opening to process openly allowed the ultimate reward releasing my hardest to release internal fears of being heard and seen, being transparent. As self-absorbed as I felt, there is no regret but gratitude.
My Heart Light Mediations opened me to be able to express Love, Fear and without fear of abandonment, rejection, loss, criticism, judgement, and various other emotional attachment.
I used to be very cautious in sharing feelings. I stopped crying at age 5 years old. I opened to crying after my first relationship ended and learned to cry with partner at age 26 years old. So, the last year and a half has been a marathon, a decathalon, race to the finish line-none too slow. And, I made it a year and a half before my fiftieth birthday. What can I do now? Oh, yeah, I can still have an authentic Heart to Heart relationship with friends and loved ones.
Okay, “I am ready and willing whenever your are ready and willing”, I say to my Other Half.
Namaste,
Jedi
Yoga means Yoke, Union. Union between self with Source; Union in Heart, Thought, Deed; Union between Mind, Body, Soul, Spirit–mental, emotional, physical, sexual, spiritual. Surrendering Self to Source is our Yoga. Love is Yoga. Light is Yoga.
All That Is is Yoga.
For decades, I maintained my private life wherein I experienced amazing spiritual experiences within intimate, romantic relationship. I had planned to release my knowledge when I was an elder, beyond range of feeling a need to protect my intimate privacy. However, it became clear: spiritual practitioners around the world would benefit from sharing my knowledge of Being in Love while experiencing Being Light.
It began as a realization that I needed to bridge toe gap between my spiritual practice, experience and knowledge with my own relation status. I felt I had reached the end of karmic soul relationship. Yet, being amongst other spiritual people, I was not romantically attracted. I began to explore the divide inside my self-my soul.
My process of opening to the Light, asking to be guided opened me to discover the depths of my soul, emotional patterns and blocks, mental patterns and limits of perception to realize the meaning of love in all my variations of compassion and passion.
My experiences of opening Heart Light to expand my sense of self beyond boundary, opened to feel safe, secure and trust my process of sharing the Light Lessons of my Soul.
My Luminous Light Being, beyond space and time is Omniscient and Omnipresent. As a Being of Light, my experience of being is not bound but infinitely bound in a Luminous Light. It feels like a contradiction to be Light and be Human. Yet, the Continuum of Perception is non-linear. We are Both and Neither in a momentary lapse of becoming. At one moment we sense separation. At another, we sense union. As we stop our thoughts, we may glimpse the rhythm of movement-energy.
To Awaken to Being is Natural. It is Eternal and Eternally our Sacred Union with Source. Soul mates, Soul Flames, Twin Flames are all variations of the Source reflecting Source. Soul mates are primarily working on being human. Soul Flames are primarily Awakening Each Other. Twin Flames are partial Awakened.
I believe a Soul mate couple can move through stages of Awakening. But such a couple are born Advanced. Civilization has not allowed Awakened beings to feel and live safely due to thousands of years of Holy Ears. Awakened Children would be exterminated at young ages. Very few tribal groups retained their Ancestral Light Knowledge. If those, there are blood lineages on every continent. Over the last hundred years, emissaries from blood lineages engaged in seeking each other in sacred and secret ceremonies and rituals. Our modern movement of Light Beings has been an underground movement until we reached world Mass Awareness. The alignment of ancestral, mystical and metaphysical teachings is allowing is to bridge the Light Realms of our Luminous Beings with our Human nature.
In order to bridge this gap, between our ancestral heritage as Beings of Light, we must accept the spiritual communion in All Our Relations. The Profane must become Sacred. Union of Light and Dark, the awareness of Yin Yang.
The four ancient meanings of Yin Yang: we are eternal opposites; we are eternally becoming our opposite; our opposite resides within us; our opposites eternally transform us. Our relationships continue to transform us, evolving and revolving, never separating us from Source. Our process we are Yoked to Yin Yang is called Yoga.
Namaste
Being aware of our own heart pain, learning to become self-aware and self-reflective while we release heart pain for our own selves, we can prepare to hold our vulnerability while we are facing our fears and doubts with our partner. Many people on the spiritual path believe that they will at one point become perfect-perfected. The perfected state is being vulnerable while sensing, feeling, experiencing emotions in the presence of living life. While we are feeling our vulnerable sensory experiences of being alive, we can extend our awareness and compassion for self to the Beloved.
Our soul mates, soul flames and twin flames are not mere reflections of our being. As we arrive to the state of being aware of the Oneness of All That Is, breathing the same air that circulates through the cycle of becoming the breathe of the plants breathing out the breathe for all animals, the circulation of forms of water and earth recycling through nature, we become aware that we are not a thing but a state of being. Our beings are continuously sharing the least indivisble particles, the rays of the sun, moon and stars. We are in constant states of change, changing with the universe. Our relationships are also all moving through the sea of change with every being around us. In this movement, we are all One in Source.
Our hearts are the central fugal force from the Source. Sharing our hearts with the Beloved opens us to feeling, sensing, being vulnerable from the core of our beings. Our life force, our shared life forces become the central fugal force of the union of our beings-our love, our relationship, our partnership. Being vulnerable with our lover, our partner becomes a matter of co-creating with the forces of nature, the forces of life, manifesting within Source. This powerful union of life force, shared between two beings becoming and sensing One is an ultimate vulnerability. Everything we think, say, do effects the Beloved.
Every word, every breathe, every emotion, every sensory experience and expression become a charged event, a shared movement–shared energy. Being aware of our vulnerability within our hearts, souls and mind while being aware of the vulnuerability of our Beloved becomes a spiritual practice of holding vulnerability, holding the sacredness of our own heart sharing vulnerablity with our Beloved. This practice becomes a state of perfecting our own souls, releasing fears and doubts within our own hearts while allowing our lover, our partner, to release fears and doubts within their heart.
Our Twin Flame lover reveals the fire of our soul to us–deeper love, a deeper compassion, a deeper passion. The saying, “You cannot fight fire with fire” reveals a secret and sacred aknowledgement of the Twin Flame Union. If we place two candles in two parts of a room, the flames will hold their flame as a single flame. If we move the candles closer but not close enough for the flames to touch, the flames will become excited. Their sparks will jump as if to reach out to the other flame. Then, we bring the candles close enough to touch. The two flames will join and become One. The flames cannot fight their union. The force of fire, combustion, movement, energy unites the two flames into One. The meaning of the Twin Flame Union reveals to us that there is no seperation after the two flames become One. This Union is a Force of Nature. This is a natural state of being in a paired couple as lovers who have followed a path of Union with Source. This is our final count down to becoming One With All That is Is–Source.
Namaste
Jedhi
I was born in the Summer of Love, the beginning of the Sexual Revolution, the Hippie Movement. I was the first child to be born amongst my parent’s high school friends. I was passed around the circles of youth, young lovers in love with life. It was an historic and amazing childhood with models of love, compassion and passion. I will emphasize passion. As passion was the way to love back in the days when love became a path to Source, God.
My role modeling was quite open and free. My father was the center of female attention and attraction. His friends were in awe of his image of Eros, God of Love and Passion. I was the Love Child. It was as if I was a toy, a baby doll. I felt loved by all of my parent’s friends. I am not even mentioning that I was passed around the teenagers in both my mother and father’s family. I was raised by a village.
However, the Free Love Movement I saw was one where I grew up with a single mother in neighborhoods of single mothers. As children, we all knew that our fathers were out and about with other men. Yet, that was only half the story of the Sexual Revolution. Several mothers had children from several fathers. Some mothers were accepting gifts and money from the sailors in our harbor during the Vietnam Era and well into the eighties. I was raised in a realm of Sex, Drugs, Rock and Roll and Soul–the international party central scenery of San Francisco Bay Area. The well known Sexual Power Houses of my parents’ generation knew each other and some of them went to high school with my parents. For instance, the Mayor across on one side of the bay was a former Madame. The San Francisco club owner Carol Doda opened an infamous stripper joint. I could go on and on.
Sex was the theme of my childhood parental models. Both of my parents had that magnetism, that extra fire. My father had women chasing all through high school. Year books of his siblings are filled with statements like, “I really enjoyed the year with you. Can you introduce me to your brother J.?” That was the pond my father swam as the fish followed him. He never had to do anything but wait for a bite, a nibble and it was a done deal.
My mother had stalkers. One time, a stalker was in our backyard outside the window. He had been watching my mother dress. That is when we got our one and only dog. A friend, a Police Officer gave us a puppy from a Police Dog’s litter. Although, we did not keep the dog after a year. He had been so protective that he had jumped through a window to get to someone who entered our house. My mother suspect that to be my father at that time. No one knows. But our dog became a liability. In this atmosphere, I had been trained in martial arts to protect myself walking to and from school.
I had a newspaper route, the earn some income for the things I wanted to buy on my own. On my bicycle loaded down with newspapers, I had pimps following me in the mornings. At the young age of thirteen, I was being solicited for sex on my route or to school and back. My sex education began as a child. Sex was spoken about in every day common language, not crude or profane. I was taught and trained to spot perverts, like the men who would park next to the bus stop while masturbating so kids could see them in their car. A walk through the park in my hometown could be good day for a child molester, rapist or pimp. Kids had to know what was going on to be safe. We had to know how to tell and who to tell.
The women were so sexual and seductive. This is one of the aspects I paid intense attention as did all the other girls who were aware of sexuality and learning about sexual prowess. Today, we are inundated with sexual images throughout the media. In those days, it was on the streets, in homes, at parties. Sex was never hidden. It was all out front in the open. Even my friends talked about the world around as we figured out how the world worked. Teen pregnancy was a main issue that the adults around me discussed with me, family and friends. As we entered teen years, we were on the watch. My family made it clear that I was being monitored though I was given freedom to roam. Roam the entire city my friends and did. We also knew we had to roam in groups for protection, to protect each other.
In that atmosphere of intense awareness of teen pregnancy, prostitution, rape and sexual freedom it was a wonder to me that I ever discovered the path to love. Sex was the ideal. I viewed monogamy as an old school tether to outmoded religious ideals. Not until I found myself within a relationship filled with intimacy, mutual dreams, shared memories and felt my soul merging with my partner moving through experiencing spiritual awakening and understanding that the meaning of life was derived from relationship did I begin the journey to understand my self, my soul, the Light, Source and God through love.
All of my breakthroughs in the opening to the experience of Light has been on my path of Love. I was always trying to understand my soul and the world. Yet, I would never have discovered the Light if not for Love.
Some people find the Light at the end of the tunnel through Near Death Experiences. I had done that and only wanted to die as much as I loved and felt loved. Nothing was as important to me than getting back to the Light. Yet, when I became addicted to sex, I became addicted to passion. The fire opened my Light. I was guided on a path of pure passion which led me to pure love.
For me, the Soul Flame path has been one long path of opening my heart to passion and love, again and again. I have given all that I am and have been on the way to releasing my heart and soul to the fire within relationship. The Twin Flame path is the end of the journey. I know all that I need to know about compassion, passion-the spectrum of love, feelings, emotions, intimacy and commitment.
When I make that final commitment, I know in the depths, the core of my Heart Light, Soul and Being of Light that I have burned through the fires, the tests, the trials and passed through them while healing my wounds, doubts and fears. I trust my Heart Light and have faith in the Light, the Source. I know that I cannot be lead astray. I cannot harm or be harmed. I can only be guided to my final arrival in my journey through Love, Light and Source. My certainty of faith is the final surrender.
Namaste
Jedhi
“Few recognize the enormous power of relationship as a vehicle for mutual healing— physical, emotional and spiritual. Or the power of the “true heart” to awaken us from the emotional trance that relationships sometimes induce. Or the possibilities of seeing our beloved as “the Beloved.” Levine, Stephen; Levine, Ondrea (2010-06-05). Embracing the Beloved: Relationship as a Path of Awakening . Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group.
Soul Retrieval… when love takes you to the depths of pain, risking being caught within the pain… Healing is hard to do… we go into pain we might otherwise never enter… But…
How deep is your love?
Have you heard about the family tragedies?
Have you heard about the broken hearts?
Have you heard about the broken dreams?
Have you heard about the emotional pain?
Have you heard about the physical pain?
Have you heard about the psychical pain?
Have you heard about the spiritual pain?
Have you felt that pain your heard about?
Have you cried with about pain together?
Have you shared your pain about the pain?
How deep is your love?
Are you willing to go into your lover’s dreams?
Are you willing to go into your lover’s nightmare?
Are you willing to face the her demons with her?
Are you willing to face the truth of her angels?
How deep is your love?
What is Soul Retrieval?
Soul Retrieval is the ability to enter a state of trance and transfer one’s conscious awareness to the soul memory of another person or animal. This prehistoric practice requires the knowledge given by spirit guides throughout the evolution of human conscious awareness.
An example of a Soul Retrieval
A female, age about fifty, client lays on a message table, I enter a state of trance. Once in trance, I am in a bathroom watching a male, age around thirty, wrapped in a towel and brushing his teeth. He is somewhat chubby, somewhat short black hair and looks like he is somewhat Italian. I come out of trance, discuss everything I saw, that the client immediately recognized the man and scene as being her husband at the time and place they were married. This simple recognition triggers her memories to release trauma about that relationship. Releasing that trauma about the relationship allows the client to process on her own–no counseling.
Another client who was a nurse, roughly fifty years old, I describe an umbilical chord to her. I see her as a twin birthed baby. That makes no sense to her. About a year or so later, a woman comes to me at an event where I am speaking as a presenter. She asks me, “Do you recognize me?” I am usually very good with faces since memory work is required to do psychic work. I cannot place her. She explains to me that after the healing, she discovered that she did have a twin at birth. She began losing over 50 pounds without dieting.
I could go on and on but chose very simple examples. I brought up the movie What Dreams May Come because that is an example of Soul Retrieval after a loved one dies. I highly recommend the movie.
In part, when we enter a one to one relationship with a partner, we are engaging in a soul merging process which has some elements of Soul Retrieval naturally embedded into the soul mate relationship. The elements of memories surfacing, painful and non-painful, empathy, sympathy, and hopefully deep core emotional bonding and communication. Those basic elements.
Other elements of Soul Retrieval inside of relationship is the psychic bonding such as mutual dreaming, extra-sensory communications such as telepathy, seeing visions and hearing voices of a loved one in trouble, or cheating and lying.
Soul Retrieval is the most ancient and natural form of the healing arts. Every indigenous peoples on the planet performed Soul Retrieval as it is the most innate psychic ability which we possess as humans–the ability to enter our dreams with our loved ones and seek out their soul memories to retrieve lost, fragmented and traumatized memories to the peace and light.
What Dreams May Come is an example of Soul Retrieval. Robin Williams plays the grieving husband and father who loses his family in a traumatic car accident. I highly recommend watching this film more than a few times.
Plot: Robin Williams’s character’ family dies in a tragic car accident. While grieving, Williams places his focus on a painting that his wife had been working on before her death. His memories begin to emerge, reliving important memories between him and his wife, and kids. While contemplating the incomplete art piece, a large oil painting, Williams finds himself entering the painting itself. Inside the dream of being in the painting, Williams is met by a familiar face. That familiar face takes him on a tour. During the tour of dreaming within the painting, the painted world becomes more real vs. imaginary. As the dream becomes more real, Williams begins to have memories of his wife and kids. As the memories unfold, the tour guide takes him to a realm where his wife is stuck in misery, a personal hell realm. Williams reconnects with his wife, aids her escape from eternal misery and is guided by the tour guide to take her to the light of heaven where he meets angels and discovers his spiritual core being.
That is what happens when:
A.) One enters into a trance or dream state
B.) While in trance or dream state meets spirit guides
C.) One or more spirit guides give the sojourner a tour
D.) Spirit guide(s) guide person to a loved one
E.) The loved one communicates with the sojourner
F.) The messages from the loved one are retrieved
G.) Sojourner returns from trance/dream with messages
H.) The message unlocks hidden/secret healing details
I.) The hidden secrets reveal healing to release fear, anxiety
J.) The physical and emotional body respond with pain
K.) When the pain is released, the body is triggered to heal
L.) The genetic DNA/RNA automatically release healing processes
M.) Unless loved one is deceased they will be brought to the light
These are our innate impulses from our own soul core beings. Over time, we learned to ignore these impulses through indoctrination of religion, giving our natural power to a central authority figure. In my tribal origins, the children are initiated at the age of two years old to meet with the ancestral spirit guides. Spirit guide training is processed throughout childhood in a fun and imaginative format. Children are given strict codes of conduct and yet given a free reign of imagination within those guide lines. This orientation exists within existing indigenous peoples on the planet yet are becoming extinct which is why I am writing this for you.
Applications:
1) Family
2) Loved Ones
3) Soul mates
Soul mate relationships will trigger the deepest core memories of the soul. Partnering up with a soul mate will cause the dreaming memories to merge whether either one or both partners are aware of this process. If one or both partners are unaware, the triggers will release pain and suffering to degrees that one and eventually both partners will be aggravated and irritated and intimacy will become a major problem, eventually leading to abuse of self or the beloved partner. In other words, one or both partners may retreat by alcohol or become verbally and physically violent. At that stage, both partners are battling for their own survival issues.
If only one partner is able to enter into dreaming state with the other partner, there is chance that the relationship may be retrievable. Ethically, this also requires intimacy between partners and doing a Soul Retrieval against the will of the soul mate is a transgression, a violation of spiritual freedom of will. Although when it occurs naturally, one partner may begin to experience dreaming with the other partner and be led to understand deeper metaphorical memory based information. In order for the healing to unfold, learning how to share the dream information becomes necessary. This sharing leads to deeper intimacy and requires both partners to become aware of the vulnerability of both partners as they enter into deep stages of soul growth. When this level is reached, the internal guidance of the mutual partnership begin to merge.
This merging process, all soul mates feel at some point and are aware of how it feels. However, the deeper the merging, the more each partner will feel shifts in vulnerability and feel as if each is losing her sense of being a self to the relationship. That is when there are trust issues which come up as each partner must sacrifice a certain amount of guarding the sense of being a separate self. A committed relationship will go through stages of learning how to trust each other by sharing deeper layers of intimacy. Accepting the psychic bonding, releasing fears of loss such as in fear the partner will become sick or wounded and die will be a constant process of letting go to the life and death processing of being soul in a human body–basically the meaning of the vows of marriage, through sickness and in health, until death do us part. When one of the partners parts, there will be a grieving process which also opens the living soul mate to experience the transition of the deceased soul mate evolve back the spirit realms. If both soul mates have evolved, there will be a time period which is opened for soul mates to be able to communicate between the physical and non-physical. This is a natural healing process of grieving to give the living soul mate the will to live with the knowledge of the spiritual realms in memory.
Again, What Dreams May Come is a good depiction of the stages of Soul Retrieval. Watch it more than once, more than a few times if you can or must. You can get the feel for the transitions of conscious awareness so that they become more clear to your mind.
Best Wishes,
Jedhi
“It is not for the concept, but for the experience, that we use the term “the Beloved.” The experience of this enormity we falteringly label “divine” is unconditioned love. Absolute openness, unbounded mercy and compassion. We use this concept, not to name the unnameable vastness of being— our greatest joy— but to acknowledge and claim as our birthright the wonders and healings within.
Levine, Stephen; Levine, Ondrea (2010-06-05). Embracing the Beloved: Relationship as a Path of Awakening (pp. 6-7). Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group.
Although it seems that everyone needs and wants to be loved, it also seems that accepting love is the most difficult feeling to accept. In the late nineties, I enjoyed To Love and Be Loved by Stephen and Ondrea Levine. This was the most beautiful recording of a workshop about Love. The raw emotional reverberation between Stephen and Ondrea is beyond amazing. The depth of awareness and understanding between these two souls was enlightening to say the least. To understand love, one must open one’s heart to the core of fear and desire. I highly recommend their addition to the knowledge of love. Many lovers seek Rumi for inspiration. Rumi’s inspiration on the spiritual path of love has been a poetic work of transcendence of self, being, being Love, being Source. And, yet, the Gods and Goddesses of Love are ancient mythos within our human psyche. The roots of poetry as a path of knowledge derives from the path of Love. Poetry evolved from song–prayers, love stories and storytelling. We can say, all paths lead to Love. But to be loved, that is the quest to conquer our greatest fear.
Why do we fear love? Love opens our heart to our truth, our fear of our truth, our fear of being told we are not lovable, our fear of not being loved, our fear of not being good, not being accepted, not being what we think or feel. Love opens us to being vulnerable. We are vulnerable to every nuance of feeling, sensing the world. Our world is what we feel and think until we are loved. Then, our world no longer revolves around our own sense of self. Now, the world revolved around what we hear, see, feel, sense from the lover.
This sense of being loved is like being a new born infant again. As an infant, we rely in our caregivers, our mother, father, grandparents, aunts, uncles and all those who pay attention to our needs as we are learning to eat, potty, talk and walk on our own. This sense of vulnerability, we feel again when we are in Love. It is all the memories of being an infant, baby, toddler, child, young adult and then an adult that we must face again when we feel vulnerable to the depths of love.
My Cherokee Great Aunt used to say that we are not adults until we reach thirty years of age. In our twenties, we are learning to let go of being children. We are learning how to be adults. We are finally learning this as we enter our thirties. It is in this transition that we have experienced most of the formation of our adult life. And, we have taken account of our childhood as we grow in comparing and contrasting our experiences between childhood and adulthood, friendships and lovers, lovers and partners. Through those experiences, we gain more memories. More memories are more insights of both good and bad, positive and negative experiences. As we gain those experiences, we are making decisions based on weighing those experiences.
When we are in love, now we have to weigh our experiences with the beloved. Which experiences will be important to share? Which will be ones we keep to ourselves? Which ones will be reveal when we can no longer keep them to ourselves? Which ones explain the way we feel? Which ones do we need to discuss to feel understood? Which ones will we try to keep forever? Which ones will not be kept inside our hearts forever? The choices we make over and over, on a daily basis leads us through a maze of decisions based on our fear of love.
How do we get through the maze of choices and decisions about discussing our truths with the beloved? The heart holds the keys to unlock the fear of the soul. All those things we hold within our soul, our heart knows when we can tell them and when we cannot. Our heart is at the core of our being, our Life Source. Our heart feels open or closed, expanded or contracted. For some, the heart feels always closed. Others, the heart feels always open. For many the heart opens and closes. The goal is be able open the heart to remain open without fear. That is the only way we can face the beloved and the world.
Much, much more can be said and will be said by many, many people about the heart. The lessons of the heart are endless. All the ways we feel and express emotions, all the memories, fears, doubt and pain will teach us to pay attention and focus on our hearts, our truths. In our truths, we learn to trust our heart. In our heart, we learn to trust others. We learn to accept love in all forms. We learn to feel the love of the beloved. Our hearts become the scale which weighs our fears, doubts and pain against the feather likened to the Ancient Egyptian Hieroglyphs. Our hearts are our prayers to Source. Our hearts are our songs, our poetry, expressing our love.
Love is endless. To be loved is divine.
Namaste
Jedhi
Dear Genie,
You know who you are and we both know what we know about each other. That is nice. It is just hard to know what is going on when it is going on some times. Emotions projecting old memory patterns protecting the eyes from seeing and ears from hearing seems to feel more real at times.
Meanings behind meanings are not necessarily what they …are intended to mean nor what they mean when seen and heard. While other meanings are seen and heard as meant to be intended. Aft…er all, meanings shift and change when all the emotions shift and change. Leaving, doubt or no doubt, whichever is the most felt.
Knowing and feeling can be two separate paths or can be one and the same. Though when they diverge, knowing and feeling can both enter a maze. Through the maze are many tunnels, leading to many dreams. Each dream may lead to yet another dream even other dreams. Dreams may be in the past. Dreams may be in the future. Dreams may be about other dreams or dreams which never existed or dreams which repeat.
You know it is hard dreaming all the dreams that you can dream about your dreams. Being in the maze following the paths which lead to many tunnels, if you meet any one who can wake up and wake you up is it really luck?
You know if you awaken and you know when you are asleep, maybe. Maybe this is another dream within a dream. Maybe this is a dream within which you can awaken. Maybe in this dream, you can dream the dreams you wish to dream, maybe. Maybe you can dream the dream. Maybe your dream can dream the dreamer. Maybe the dreamer dreams you dreaming.
You know what I mean when you know what I mean and I know what you mean when I know too. That is nice. When we are dreaming the same dream we know we are dreaming the same meaning. When we are not dreaming the same dream, we are dreaming other dreams. Maybe that is nice. Maybe it is not so nice whichever is most felt.
You know I know you know what I mean when I know you know what I mean. I know you say what you mean to mean even when you do not say what you mean. That is nice. Dream on dreaming the dreamer. Dream the dreamer awake in the dream. Maybe you can awaken the dreamer who dreams you awake.
Genie